Eleanor's attention suddenly snapped back to him, her grey eyes sharp despite their brightness. "Does that mean she has your child?"
"What? No!" Aubrey was appalled by the suggestion. "Good God, what kind of man do you take me for?"
"The kind who courted another woman while betrothed to me!" Eleanor's voice rose. "The kind who married me and then abandoned me! Forgive me if I do not immediately trust your assurances of propriety!"
"We courted for five months," Aubrey said, forcing himself to remain calm despite the anger toward Rose and confusion churning in his gut. "Five months of stolen conversations and walks and carefully wordedletters. I had no plans to marry her at the time. I was still betrothed to you. I needed time to convince my parents to break the engagement."
"How romantic." Eleanor's voice was bitter.
"I am sorry. I know I hurt you and don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt, but please believe me. I did not bed her."
Eleanor's expression was openly sceptical.
"And I have not been intimate with anyone since our marriage," Aubrey continued, his voice tight. "I may have been a terrible husband in every other respect, but I upheld that aspect of our vows. I have been faithful to you, even if I haven’t been a husband in any other way."
The silence that followed was crushing.
Eleanor stood gripping the chair, her face a mask of barely controlled emotion. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears, her breath coming in short, shallow gasps.
"Eleanor—" Aubrey's voice softened. "I am sorry. I never meant for you to learn about Rose this way."
"My lady's maid," Eleanor’s voice cracked, "secretly carrying on with the man I was about to marry."
A single tear escaped, tracking down her pale cheek.
Aubrey felt something twist in his chest, a pain that seemed to rise from deep in his core. "Eleanor, I’m so very sorry."
She stopped. Pressed her hand to her mouth as though physically holding back a sob.
"I wish..." Aubrey found himself saying words he had never expected to speak. "I wish I could hold you. Comfort you. I know I have no right to even suggest such a thing, but Eleanor, I am sorry. I am so desperately sorry forhurting you."
Eleanor looked at him then, and Aubrey saw in her eyes the full measure of what he had done. Not just this fresh betrayal; this new wound layered atop all the others, but the abandonment of the past two years.
"I need..." Eleanor's voice was barely audible. "I need to be alone."
She turned and fled from the room, her footsteps quick and uneven in the hallway outside.
Aubrey sat among his pillows, the household ledger still open in his lap, staring at the entries that had just shattered what remained of his certainty.
The fury toward the woman he had loved rose from deep within and threatened to combust. He had comforted Rose, defended his actions, while punishing his innocent wife. And in the meantime, Rose had lain with another man and was taking money from his wife.
Aubrey closed the ledger and pressed it against his chest, closing his eyes against the wave of self-loathing that crashed over him.
He’d been such a fool.
Such a complete, utter, unforgivable fool.
And Eleanor—generous, kind-hearted Eleanor—had paid the price for his foolishness at every turn.
The question now was whether there was any possible way to make amends for the damage he had done.
Or whether some wounds were simply too deep to ever heal.
Chapter twelve
Family Arrival
Eleanor sat at her writing desk, staring at the household ledger she had retrieved from her study.
