“Because there’s something I have to do this weekend and something I have to ask you.”
“Anything.”
“Will you come to my coven’s Beltane celebration?”
“Beltane?”
“May first. It’s a fire festival to celebrate the halfway point between the spring equinox and summer. I have to go. I’d like you to come as my guest. Besides, it’s at my parents’ house and will give me access to some magical resources I can use to follow up on my theories about the ring.”
I hate the thought of her going anywhere right now with the Saint’s Order on a killing spree, but if she has to go to this celebration, I will definitely be at her side. “I’d love to.”
That makes her smile. “Then we should get started right away. I’ll need time to recover. I’ll get my bag.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
ZOE
I’m back at the dining room table, my mirror and my athame in front of me. Despite myself, I’m excited about this. I’ve wanted to use gold dust again for days, and although I tell myself that this could be the last time, that it should be the last time, all I’m focused on is doing it one more time. I hate this neediness in me. This is how it started before, the wanting, the distraction of it, the way my thoughts would return like a boomerang and linger on the idea of doing it again. And then, one day, I couldn’t stop myself from doing it. Couldn’t stop until I was made to stop.
But when I look across the table at Seb, I have another reason to want to do this. I’m falling in love with him. It’s fast, I know. Too fast for me to call it love yet. But the connection we shared last night was once-in-a-lifetime level. I have to do something to protect him. And I have a plan. If I can finish deconstructing how the Order rings are made, maybe I can use the water in the vial to create a celestial ring that is its balance. One that can transform into a shield or become a weapon.
What could combat a dark ring better than one made of light?
And if you have to make multiple rings, that means more times ascending to the Gold Room, the spider says.
I ignore her and reach for the urn.
“Are you sure you’re ready to do this again?” Seb asks. “We could wait another day.”
He seems more anxious this time. I tell myself it’s because of what happened last time, how he saw me wet myself. After last night, he probably can’t stomach seeing me like that again. But it must be done. Without me, more of his brothers could be hurt like Remus was. It could be him next time.
“I’m ready,” I say. Then I give him a wide smile. “Take care of me afterward, all right? And if I say something mean to you, don’t believe me, okay? It’s the gold dust talking. Every time I use, the hill of recovery becomes steeper.”
“I’ve got you,” he says softly.
I pull the box holding the ring and the vial closer to me, and then I pour a precious line of gold dust from the urn with shaky hands. I lean down and take the goddess into myself.
As always, the ascension is euphoric. My body goes weightless, and my soul feels like it’s in perfect spiritual union with the beyond. Warm comfort surrounds me in a hug of acceptance and communion. And then the song of the Gold Room comes to me, each item humming in unison, singing me a song of welcome.
“Back again, daughter,” the triune voice whispers. Three voices in unison representing the goddess. My blood tingles with the vibration of the words.
“I need to understand the ring so that I can create an enchantment powerful enough to destroy it.”
“You have someone with you today,” she says with a laugh.
I don’t know what she’s talking about until a large head nuzzles under my arm, forcing my chair back from the table. Seb’s dragon is wrapped around me, watching me with its golden eyes, its chin resting in my lap like the world’s biggest dog. I stroke it between its horns, and it purrs, exactly how Seb purred last night.
“Hi, sweetheart,” I whisper to it, breathing in his familiar sandalwood and citrus scent. This is Seb. Just a different aspect of him. It’s completely wild to me that his dragon can exist in the Gold Room with me. “I’m sorry, but I need to work on this. Can you wait beside me?” I gently push his head away. With a whine as if he’s only a large dog and not a dragon as big as a small airplane, he flops on the floor beside me with his head between his paws.
I reach for the box and open it.
That black hole of energy stares up at me from the velvet, and I waste no time forming the window with my hands and opening it again. I try to memorize each part, mumbling my notes to myself. Quicker than I expect, my arms start to hurt. I allow the window to close, panting and shaking out my arms. The gold flickers. Already, I grow tired. When I hang my head for a moment to rest, I see Seb’s dragon watching me from the floor.
“If I tell you something and show you what I see, can you remember it for me?” The great dragon rises, nodding. He seems excited to help. At my urging, he looks over my shoulder. “Okay, here we go. Pay attention.” I open the window again and quickly narrate what I observe. The chanting, the smell, the symbols, the vibration, the ribbons, the darkness. I describe everything using the words of a witch, and the dragon studies the ring.
It takes hours. At least, it feels like hours. I grow so tired, I can hardly keep my eyes open. But when my body sways in the chair, the dragon rubs up against me, cheek to cheek. He licks up the side of my face and nuzzles me awake again. We finish as the last of the gold bleeds from the room.
I release the window and grab Seb’s dragon around the neck. “Thank you. That’s all I got,” I tell the creature.
