His eyes are stormy blue again, his pupils round, not the green slitted ones of his dragon. “Does it hurt when you shift?”
“Only when I do it too fast.”
“And the fire breathing... does that happen a lot?”
“Only when I need it to.” His expression turns sheepish. “Or am trying to impress a mate.”
“Itwasimpressive.” I glance down at my toes, my head spinning with questions. “So... how much control do you have when you’re, um?” I gesture awkwardly at the door as if that version of him is still outside.
He steps in closer and runs his hands down my arms. His voice is low, rusty, as he says, “I’ve never had a problem with control.” Somehow he makes it sound sexual, or maybe it’s the tension ratcheting up between us that makes me feel that way. Suddenly what happened between us last night feels like an appetizer.
“I should get back to work. I have a book to finish,” I say weakly.
“You can’t put me off forever. You know it’s true. You feel it. You’re mine.”
He’s so close I can feel the heat coming off his skin. My gaze falls on his lips, and I’m so tempted.
“I need… time. This is…” I shake my head.
He nods. “Okay.”
“Aren’t you a little hesitant? After seeing my scar or because I’m a washed-up novelist who almost married your nemesis?” I laugh at how ridiculous it sounds that this Nordic god of a man is even interested in me. “I’m honestly nothing special. Nothing to go to war for.”
He brushes my hair back from my eyes and tucks it behind my ear, shaking his head. “How is it that you can’t see how beautiful you are, Fiona? You’re breathtaking. Do you think your scar was what distracted me when I helped you change your first day here? Hell no. Seeing you naked, I almost swallowed my tongue. You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever encountered.”
I swallow hard, backing away from him. I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure what to think.
He draws back. “I’ll tell Zaire to bring you that tea.”
I nod and then race for the safety of my room.
Chapter Nineteen
FIONA
We fall into a pattern after that. Every morning, Connor has a gourmet breakfast waiting for me and then we walk Bones. We walk and we talk. He tells me about culinary school, which sounds like a completely normal and human experience. And then about training to be a warrior in a place called Cardinal Island, which he explains is another world, only accessible by dragons.
I tell him about the orphanage, our failed attempts at living with foster families, and my not-so-secret Taylor Swift addiction. His taste in music is eclectic. I’m not familiar with his favorite band, a group that his brother Seb just recently signed, an alternative rock band called Apples Fall. He plays a few songs for me and I dance around the living room to the album after he leaves.
And he does leave, every day after our morning walk. I see him sometimes chopping wood out back, his skinsteaming. Other times he looks pale, his skin clammy. Is this the mating sickness he mentioned? The fever?
If it is, he doesn’t try to ease his symptoms with me again. A week goes by, and to my chagrin, he doesn’t try to kiss me or anything else. I guess I asked him for time and he’s giving it to me no matter how much I secretly wish he wouldn’t. And I’m too much of a coward to do anything about the growing ache within me.
Every afternoon I return to my room where Alex is already there in my imagination, her arms spread wide. She’s still wearing a maid’s uniform.You’ll never believe what happens next, Fiona. After weeks working as a maid in the Milk Cult’s headquarters, I find so many clues but I still don’t know where they’re hiding the girls.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll figure it out. Give me a minute,” I say to no one.
I open my laptop and get to work. I write like I’ve never written before, pages and pages flowing out of me like my brain is plugged into the keyboard.
I never hear anything more from either Roman or Vivian.
Every afternoon, Zaire brings me tea and an array of fruits, cheese, and vegetables. I barely notice. Alex is sleuthing in the Milk Cult’s boarding house, then being chased by a group of thugs whose eyes glitter from the mood-altering drugs they’re on. She’s so close to the big reveal where I show the reader why the girl was murdered and why it all bothers Alex so much.
In the evenings, Zaire brings me dinner. I don’t even taste it. I’m too wrapped up in the story. Only when myhead starts to bob over my keyboard do I sleep. And when I do, I dream, always about Connor.
Twenty days into my stay at Dragon Lodge as I’ve come to call it, I wake genuinely excited to see Connor. Excited for our walk. But when I enter the kitchen, Zaire tells me he had some business to attend to and will be back in the evening. A pang in my chest has me rubbing the spot. I miss him. I miss him so much it hurts.
I play Apples Fall on repeat while I wrap up the day’s work, realizing I’m only a handful of scenes from finishingThe Milkmaid. Maybe three more chapters and it’s done.
