1
Homecoming
DAMIEN
Humans have an expression: You can’t go home again. I haven’t found a better way to describe that incomprehensible sense of nostalgia experienced from revisiting the past. Some memories, I suppose, come coated in a thick layer of grief and loss for all that’s left behind and forgotten.
I am not human, but I understand this trite turn of phrase maybe better than any of them. For too long, I truly believed that I’d never again see the land of my youth. Deep down, I thought that given the rare chance I might return to the kingdom of Stygarde, I would find it ravaged by war and nothing like the world I remembered.
But, as Eloise and I are thrown from the portal she’s opened into the west garden, the untamed moonlight of Tenebris greets me like an old friend, casting a silvery glow over the honey-stone walls of Stygarde Castle. Gleaming turrets poke holes into the velvety darkness above, and familiar gargoyles survey the expansive grounds from the same spots beneath the verandas of the upper floor living quarters as they did when I was a child. This castle, the scent of amethyst roses blooming, the silk of moonlight on my exposed skin, it’s all exactly as I remember it. This is no war-torn palace. This is a dream come true.
Home, at last.
Eloise is saying something, her voice a series of chimes in the background, while I, in awestruck exuberance, take in my lush and flourishing surroundings. No evidence of the war I left behind is apparent in the old growth. I smile at the bench where Eloise and I once made love in my dream. I’m tempted to take her in my arms and recreate that memory for both of us, but I restrain myself. It’s possible my mother or sister could be around the next bend. Best wait to celebrate until we are behind closed doors.
I take a few steps toward the path that leads to the castle. From this new vantage point, I can see fields overflowing with crimson wheat waving on a gentle breeze along the horizon. In all my years, I never witnessed such a bounty as this. By the maturity of the grain, something I can gauge by the feathery red tops of the plants, this will be a record harvest. Never would such a thing be possible if we were still battling Willowgulch.
“The war is over,” I muse. “Welcome to Stygarde, Princess Eloise.” I am beaming as I turn back to her, only to realize in an instant that she does not share my joy.
“Phantom!” she calls toward the forest that stretches behind the gardens. The tone of her voice is on the edge of panic, and her eyes are wild, searching the shrubbery for her lost familiar.
I sniff the air. The fox is gone. I am sure she had the creature in her arms when we entered the symbol, but the arduous journey must have wrenched the beast from her grip. Although, she still holds her spellbook firmly against her chest. Fuck, Phantom is important to her. Important to her magic. I’ve been so distracted with my own happiness that I haven’t noticed my mate’s distress.
I break apart, my shadows darting through the garden, searching. But there’s no trail, no hint of Phantom. I form again beside Eloise, shaking my head. “Should we keep looking, little bird?”
She whirls to face me, studying me for a moment and then the castle behind me. A series of emotions flits across her face too quickly for me to guess what she’s thinking, but they soon melt into a smile. “No. Phantom is never truly lost. I think I’m just tired. I’m sure once I’ve had time to rest and settle into this new…body, I’ll be able to summon them as always.”
Her theory rings true. She’s been through so much in the last few days. Suffered the loss of blood, the pain of death, an unexpected resurrection as a vampire, a new hunger for blood. If those physical changes weren’t enough to upset the bonds she relies on for her magic, the emotional complications that followed might be. Attacked by her enemies, she was forced to abandon her home and her best friend. Plus, the complicated magic to bring us here likely drained her reserves. It is no wonder she feels disconnected from her abilities. New body, new world, new life.
“Everything will feel differently tomorrow, once you’ve had a chance to rest and adjust. This setback isn’t particularly surprising or unexpected, given my experience with magic,” I reassure her. Though I have a limited understanding of her particular power, my former servitude made me privy to a host of magical practices. I’m confident in the assessment that Phantom’s absence is temporary. I hold out my hand to her.
She nods her agreement.
“Then come. I can’t wait to introduce you to my family.” The smile she gives me rivals the brightness of the moon. I take her hand in mine and lead us along the well-groomed path stretching from the garden to the front of the castle.
“You’re practically skipping,” she says through a smile. We approach the two massive wooden doors with their oversized wrought-metal hardware that form the front entrance to what was my boyhood home.
“I never thought I’d see Stygarde Castle again,” I admit. “It brings me great joy—” My thought cuts off abruptly as my gaze sweeps to the top of the entryway. Centered at the apex where the double doors meet is a family crest, but it is not my family crest, nor any I’m familiar with. My smile falters.
“What is it?” Eloise squeezes my hand.
“The crest over the doors is different from before. My family’s was comprised of a griffon, wings spread, behind crossed swords. I’ve never seen this one.” The coat of arms above us depicts a red stag cheek to cheek with a white one, horns tangled, a starry sky behind them both.
“Do you think it’s cause for alarm?” she whispers, taking a step back from the door.
“Stags, especially the red variety, are a symbol of my kingdom,” I say with an optimistic lilt. “I’m not sure why the crest has changed, but this new one also represents Stygarde. Considering how long I’ve been away, changes are to be expected.”
“Those things are stags?” Eloise’s brows lift. “Aside from the rack of horns, they look more like two rhinoceroses.”
I chuckle. “You’ll find that everything here is a bit more than on your world. Fiercer predators, bigger prey. Our gods require balance in all things.”
She snorts. “I’ve never been happier not to be human any longer than right now.”
Although we both laugh softly at her comment, I note a twitch of sadness in her smile. Losing her humanity was not her choice. No amount of positivity about the benefits of her vampirehood will ever dull the pain of that violation, I fear. All I can hope is that by providing her my love, a peaceful home, and space to work through her feelings, in time, she’ll heal.
I open one of the doors for her, and we both step over the threshold. For a moment, it is as if we’ve stepped back in time. Childhood memories wash over me at the sight of the vast foyer. Garlands of flowers and fruit hang in swags across the ceiling and down the walls.
For a moment, I’m my scrawny ten-year-old self, chasing after Karyl, my younger sister, to the sound of my mother’s laughter. A gold chandelier filled with red candles flickers above our heads, also adorned in harvest finery. It’s exactly as I remember it. Exactly as my mother had decorated when I was young.
