“I tried to die. I would have preferred to die.”
I shake my head vigorously. “No. No. Don’t say that.”
“There was a time I thought it was my best option.”
Silence unravels between us. Nothing said, yet so much hanging in the air around us. “Did she force herself on you? I mean, did you have sex with her?”
Now he cracks a smile. “No.” He hesitates, looking away from me. “But she touched me, everywhere, with her fingers, with her mouth.”
I have to grit my teeth to keep from reacting to that confession.
“She wanted to force herself on me further. She tried. Only my mating bond to you made it impossible. I thank the gods for that.”
I swallow hard, knowing in my heart that plenty of damage can be done by touching alone. Valeska violated him. My strong, virile warrior mate might not want to admit it, but I understand the wounds a violation like that can cause. Wounds that, if we survive this, will have to be healed.
He strokes my hair, his lips pressing to my temple. “Will you tell me, Eloise?” His voice is so low it seems to rumble in my bones. “How you came to be here. How you learned about the challenge. How many vampires you’ve fed. Let us have no secrets between us.”
I adjust myself, straightening in his lap until we’re face-to-face. And then I tell him everything, about Morpheus and Cassius and Sabrina and Tobias—how his brother Nathaniel’s blood runs in my veins. About how it was Sabrina’s idea for me to use the blood brothels to get into Night Haven and how she told me about the challenge. I tell him about training with Maeve and then with Cassius. Even though it’s hard, I tell him everything about my time here too. About the vampires who’ve visited me and why I signed the agreement with Marabella. And then, finally, about Phantom. The fox appears at the sound of their name and strides toward us, their bushy red tail wrapping around their feet as they come to sit and stare up at me.
When I’m through, he just stares at me like he’s seeing me for the first time.
“Say something, Damien. Can you accept what I had to do to get here?”
His eyes crinkle at the corners. “The night we met, you trembled like a sparrow caught in the first freeze of winter. A true damsel in distress. I wanted to save you then. I could have saved you, killed Tony, and ended your nightmare.”
“Sometimes I think I should have let you.”
“But look at you now. A true warrior with magic at her fingertips and a familiar by her side.”
I give a hard laugh. “I’m not sure about the warrior part. I can handle a blade though. It’s saved me on a few occasions.”
He frowns.
“And Phantom is my anchor and my ancestors. But I suppose you could call them my familiar. I have for simplicity. But my magic isn’t like Maeve’s magic. I’m limited when it comes to what I can do without a spell.”
A hint of a smile turns his lips. “Anyone who claims you have limits is a fool. You can win this, Eloise.” His gaze traces every part of my face, and his eyes sparkle. When he speaks again, his voice is heavy with emotion. “You must win this.”
My heart swells. Damien believes in me. As much as he wants to protect me from all this, he believes I can win. And that means everything. “I will. Sabrina told me that the magic makes the challenges fair. It won’t give me a challenge I can’t best. The question is if Valeska can complete hers faster and better.”
He nods slowly, his face turning grave. After a few long moments, he says, “I asked you to share everything with me, and now I’ll do the same. I believe you can win, but if the worst happens?—”
“It won’t.”
He tucks my hair behind my ear, his fingers hovering near my temple. His lips part, but the words seem to catch in his throat. “If you…” He shakes his head. I can guess what he means to say—if I lose the challenge and forfeit my life. “I will end myself, Eloise. I cannot be mated to her, not only because she is vile and revolting but because she will use me as a weapon for an eternity. That existence would corrode my soul, a slow, bitter murder of not only my will to live but of everything I am. I can’t let it happen. Better I join you in the Darklands.”
I swallow and press my forehead to his. My instinct is to fight him on this, to tell him to go on without me. But what he says is true. It wouldn’t be a life on the other side for him. It would be a prison. I kiss him fiercely, communicating my acceptance of his decision even as tears sting my eyes again. He holds me until the noise filtering in from the street outside quiets.
“The sun is rising,” he says, although the light doesn’t change in this subterranean world. He just knows. He feels it.
I stand from his lap, resting my hands on his shoulders. “Will you stay the day with me?”
His silver eyes lift with one crooked corner of his mouth. He brushes his knuckles over the curve of my cheek, his voice a low growl as he says, “Oh yes, little bird. You summoned me and struck your bargain, mated me, and came for me. Now that I’m free and we’re together, you must know I’ve spent every moment since we parted, waking and otherwise, thinking of you.”
“Every moment?” I flash a teasing smile.
He answers with a kiss. Damien’s kisses are always intoxicating, but this one is positively silken. His lips dance with mine, and his tongue strokes against mine like the lick of a flame. It’s hot and deep and just a bit sharp as his fangs get in on the action. I tap the tip of my tongue to one as he draws back.
My entire body feels flushed. It’s been so long. Too long. The throb between my legs takes on an ache only he can quench. His hands land on the waist of my tunic, then drift down to grip its edge. He smoothly lifts it up and over my head and tosses it aside, leaving me standing in front of him in my bra and leggings, my daggers strapped to my thighs. He stares up at me through his lashes, and my heart flutters, my breath coming in pants at the heat in his eyes.
