“What kind of god are you?” she asked.
“Wh-what?” He’d never been asked such an insane question. “If you’re joking, this isn’t funny. You interrupted some seriously important research.” This entire situation was beyond comprehension. He scratched his beard and frowned at her feathers. She had them plumped and stretched behind her like a bird guarding its prey. Was that some kind of high-end cosplay?
“This isn’t a joke,” she said firmly.
“Then what is it? Why have you brought me here?” The last thing he expected from a research trip to the North Pole was to be abducted. “You won’t get any money for me, sweetheart. I’m not that important to either my family or my university.”
Her wings folded flat behind her—the animatronics were incredible!—and she tucked in her chin quizzically. “I’m not holding you for ransom! Why would you think such a thing?”
“Then why am I here?”
She raised a contemplative eyebrow. “I brought you here because I need your help. I didn’t realize you’d have a negative reaction to my powers.”
“Powers?” He curled his lip. Not greedy then but crazy. Great. “Why are you dressed in an angel costume?”
She stood straighter. “This is no costume, sir.” She turned to the side and wriggled her wings for him.
Slowly his synapses fired and comprehension dawned until there was no doubt they were real. Two feathery miracles growing out of her back.
“Jesus fucking Chri—!” He cut himself off and pressed a hand to his chest, feeling for his heart. “You’re a fucking angel? Am I dead? Is this heaven?”
“No!”
“Hell?”
She scoffed. “You’re not dead, Nick.” She shook her head incredulously. “You’re speaking to me and moving around, aren’t you? I haven’t hurt you. You just passed out.”
That was an awfully defensive response from someone who snatched him from his jobsite not too long ago. He scowled. “But… but you are an… um, an angel.” He finally found the thump, thump of his pulse with his fingers and took a deep, cleansing breath. He was definitely alive, although perhaps losing his mind.
She closed her eyes for a second and gave him a sweet little laugh. “Oh, I see the problem now. You think I’m a heavenly angel as described in your Earth folklore.” With a shrug, she spread her hands. “I’m real. A celestial being just like you, Nick. No need to fear, you are perfectly safe and very much alive. I’m sorry I didn’t explain more about what I planned to do before we left your realm.”
“My realm,” he drawled, squinting at her. “Sorry, but I’m still not following. Do you mean my camp? And why do you keep calling me Nick?” A frisson of anger drove out his former fear. Who was she, and why hadn’t she explained more before she, what, knocked him out and brought him here? And where was here?
His captor’s lips twitched into an annoyingly adorable half smile. “Isn’t that your name? Saint Nick. Or…” She looked at a notebook on the desk beside her. “Santa Claus? Do you prefer Santa Claus?”
He stared at her for a few long moments, trying to process what she was saying. She swore this wasn’t a joke. Maybe she was insane. Yes, he must operate under the assumption he was dealing with someone not quite right in the head. “My name isn’t Nick,” he said clearly. “It’s Liam. Doctor Liam Morris.” His voice became even more clipped as he added through his teeth, “And I don’t appreciate being abducted from my fieldwork. Who are you, and who do you work for?”
She huffed, flopping her hands down by her sides. “I didn’t abduct you! I asked for your help and you nodded—you agreed. And how can you not be Santa Claus? You have a beard.” She checked her notebook again. “You were wearing a red suit. And you were at the North Pole!”
He scratched his neck and looked around the room. Aside from the wings, everything around him seemed relatively ordinary. He was lying in a four-poster bed, wearing nothing but his base layer and a purple sheet that matched the comforter. Beyond the foot of the bed was a cozy sitting area bordered by what looked to be a window… No, now that he looked more closely, it was a veranda. Wait, that was impossible. It would take days to get anywhere warm enough for open air, and he was sure he hadn’t been out that long. Whomever she was working for couldn’t have brought him far unless he’d been out a lot longer than he’d thought. There had to be an explanation. Maybe he was on a ship and the veranda was enclosed in glass. Yes, that must be it. He simply couldn’t see the glass from this angle.
“Where are we?” he demanded. He had a theory. Some very wealthy people would love to stop his research from happening. He guessed she worked for them and had injected him with something that rendered him unconscious before she loaded him onto a rover and transported him here. Most likely scenario was that he’d been airlifted to Norway and put on a ship cruising south.
“You are in Paragon,” she said. “You’re safe here.”
“Is that the name of the ship?”
She looked confused for a moment. “You’re not on a ship. I brought you here, to my home, because I need your help. We call our world Ouros.”
“You…” He had to swallow and lick his lips to go on. “Are you honestly suggesting you brought me to another world?” He gave a dark laugh. Now he was sure she was crazy. He couldn’t explain the wings, but it was clear she had a screw loose.
“Yes. Ouros. I know this must be disorienting for you as it’s clear you’re not used to jumping dimensions.” She drew her fingers along her temple and through her hair as if she might be any woman in any coffee shop, sharing about her day with him. “Sorry about the side effects—I assumed as a celestial being you’d be more resilient to my magic. But then, it seems I was wrong about you being a celestial being.” She pinched her chin, studying him.
He studied her right back, trying to make sense of any of it. Think like a crazy person, Liam. “So you’re like an alien from another world.”
She frowned. “Sort of.”
He blinked at her, trying not to laugh. The idea was ridiculous. “Are you going to experiment on me? Needles? Anal probes?”
