He straightened, backing away from her. “But you know what you want, right?” His eyes narrowed on her. “If you change your mind or decide you’d like another taste, you know where to find me. You’re free, right? It’s your choice.”
He gave her a little bow and then left the room, leaving her breathless and with a deep, hungry need she had no idea what to do with.
Chapter Eighteen
Another restless night. Colin didn’t stop in the dining hall for breakfast the following day, instead taking advantage of the cool desert morning to perform his training exercises. He moved through his routine, trying to concentrate on the kicks, blocks, and punches he’d mastered over a lifetime of practice, but Leena’s face kept breaking through his concentration.
It didn’t help that he could see the scribes in the distance, the special red robes they wore for morning ceremonies flowing in the wind around one of the sacred pools. Between the motion and the light reflecting off the goddess’s tears, it made them appear like part of the desert, a flower blooming from the sand. Their chants carried across the arid grounds. He didn’t understand the language, but the melody was beautiful, and he pictured her among the other scribes, singing her heart out in devotion to the goddess.
Leena had meant to push him away last night, but her story only made him more certain they belonged together. She’d taken her oath too early. She hadn’t known what she was getting into, let alone what she’d be missing.
By the time the scribes marched in formation back toward the temple, he’d finished his hand-to-hand combat exercises. Legs trembling, he picked up the sword he’d borrowed from the temple arsenal and started practicing his weapons routine, testing his balance as he attacked invisible opponents around him.
He couldn’t force Leena to want him. Nothing would change unless she decided she wanted more for herself, wanted the love that he knew hovered just beyond their reach. While he was ready and open to it, she wasn’t. And until she altered her way of thinking, there was nothing he could do.
It had to be her choice. His arms throbbed with the effort of wielding the weapon. Sweat dripped down his face. He’d been at this for hours. Exhausted, he dropped to his knees in the sand. No amount of self-flagellation was going to solve this problem. Only one thing would. He had to let her go.
Thankfully, his dragon had not yet bonded with the woman, not in the permanent way of his kind. The desire was there. The offer had been extended. But he was still free. Leena said she wanted to remain a scribe. He had to believe her and honor her wishes, no matter how wrong he thought she was. It was the right thing to do. The only avenue that wouldn’t end in his destruction.
He closed his eyes and said a quick prayer of thanks to the goddess for her help in his preparations for battle, then climbed to his feet to return to the temple. A bird’s cry came from above, and he whirled. Searching the clear blue sky, he was surprised to spot a falcon heading toward him.
Sheathing the blade, he raised his arm for the bird, which landed on the proffered perch with a flourish of wings. A message was attached to its leg.
Master Demidicus is pleased to inform you that Nochtbend has officially broken ties with Paragon and offers its full support to the Defenders of the Goddess. All representatives have stepped down from the Highborn Council. We await your word on next steps.
Colin’s heart leaped. They had Nochtbend! He dug in the pouch on his belt for a charcoal pencil and a piece of parchment and scrawled a response.The Defenders of the Goddess gratefully accept alliance with Nochtbend and vow to aid in its defense against the kingdom of Paragon. Preparations are being made. An envoy will be sent with more information.
He boundthe scroll to the falcon’s leg. “To Master Demidicus,” he told the bird and with a lift of his arm sent it flying for Nochtbend. He strode toward the temple, in need of another falcon to send to Aeaea. He had to get word to Sylas. Then he had to find Leena. Time was running out. They needed to find the book, with or without the three sisters.
Normally,the morning rituals were soothing to Leena. The routine was meditative. She woke early, donned the red robes that represented the volcanic home of the goddess, and gathered around Premia, one of the seven major sacred pools, with the rest of the scribes. After the Quanling and Fratern read from the Book of Creation, they’d sing the songs of the morning, the songs of beginnings, the song that told the story of a goddess scorned whose existence created their world and whose tears filled the pool between them.
She’d longed to come back here, longed to lose herself again to this, but no matter how she tried, her eyes kept wandering to the patch of desert in front of the temple, where Colin trained in the same way he had on the beach their last days on Aeaea. It was all she could do to remember the words to the songs she’d sung every day since she was nine.
Now, as the group strode back to the temple for breakfast, she avoided glancing toward him, kept her head lowered inside her hood, tried to look straight ahead. And failed miserably. Something inside her kept turning toward the place where she’d last seen him; some internal compass kept urging her to seek him out. Only when she did give in and look toward where he’d been practicing, he was no longer there. He wasn’t in the dining hall either as she picked at the porridge all scribes enjoyed every morning, but that didn’t stop her eyes from darting around the room in search of him.
“Are you all right?” Marjory said.
Leena snapped out of her reverie, a daydream that included golden skin patterned in waves and the flash of gray eyes. Standing on the other side of the table, her Quanling inspected her and her full bowl, looking concerned.
“Fine,” she said, flustered. “Just considering how best to interrogate the scrolls to find the right tomb.”
“I have every confidence that you can do this, Leena. You’ve always shown exceptional talent at research. I’d go as far as to say that if you are successful at this task, you will solidify your nomination as my replacement when I retire. Certainly you will earn the favor of the high lord himself.”
Leena took a deep breath and let it out slowly. This was her future. This was what she’d always wanted. All she had to do was focus on her goal. “I won’t fail you.”
Marjory reached down and squeezed Leena’s hand. “You won’t failus. What you do, you do for all of Rogos, my dear girl. Now finish your breakfast. You’re excused from the rest of the day’s rituals. Your work is far more important.”
“Yes, Mother.”
An hour later, Leena sat at one of the large tables in the most secluded corner of the library, surrounded by scrolls. She’d started reading about Tavyss’s upbringing in Paragon under the reign of Villania the Fire Queen but found her mind drawn to another scroll she’d called up on a whim, one with red edges. She looked both ways and unrolled it furtively.
The symbols at the top in ancient Elvish translated loosely tocoupling.Leena’s eyebrows lifted as she perused the many ways a male could be with a female. Him behind her. Her on top of him. Both on their sides, legs intertwined. She brought her face closer to the scroll and touched her bottom lip as she studied a sketch of how one could use their mouth to pleasure another.
“Any breakthroughs?”
She dropped the scroll as if it were hot, and it rolled itself up on the table with a rustle and zip. She brushed the scroll into the bottom of the pile with one hand and reached for another of the ones she knew were about Tavyss. “Colin!” she squeaked. “You startled me!”
“Clearly.” His gaze narrowed on her face, and the corner of his mouth twitched.
