17
Jason flopped on his bed. Why had it been that memory? As soon as Selene had mentioned the cookies, the day had come back to him, a day he’d felt truly loved. It was one of the last days they were all together. Weeks later, Silas would move back to college and, although there would be visits, they would never live under the same roof again.
His stomach flipped as he remembered his parents dancing in the kitchen. It was something they’d done often, a quirky thing he’d found embarrassing as a teenager and oddly out of character for his usually stoic father. Now he’d do anything to see his parents dancing.
Outside his room, he heard Selene digging through his cupboards, pots and pans banging together, cabinet doors opening and closing. He should get up and help her find whatever she was looking for, but he didn’t. He was too busy trying to forget the memory she’d recalled in him. What she didn’t understand was that his happiest memory was now his most brutal reminder of his parents’ murder.
How could he tell Selene that remembering the source of the light within him was what fueled the darkness? A spray of bullets stole that moment from him in the most brutal way possible, negating it and every happy moment that came before. It was a memory of how everything you loved turned to shit eventually. Worm fodder.
Suddenly exhausted, he threaded his fingers behind his head, closed his eyes, and forced himself to forget again as he drifted away.
Gingerbread.The scent was unmistakable and almost overwhelming to his hypersensitive wolf senses. Immediately, the memory came back to him, all its light and its resulting darkness filling him at once.
“Selene, what have you done?” He scowled. Bounding from the bed, he burst from his room, ready to give her a piece of his mind. But when he reached the kitchen, the sight of her thawed any ice that had formed around his heart.
She’d donned a dress, the first one he’d ever seen her wear, simple and conservative with a flowing skirt that reached below the knee. Her hair was down, loose curls draped over her shoulders and flowing to the center of her back. And her smile was bright enough to light up the room.
All he could think was that she was perfect, beautiful, and worthy like an angel dropped down from heaven. Selene pulled a tray of cookies from the oven and turned her violet eyes on him.
“Who’s ready for some cookies?” she said softly.
Jason’s throat constricted and a muscle in his jaw twitched. Eyes burning, he crossed to her, a confusing mix of emotions swirling in his head. He shook her by the shoulders.
“Oww. Jason, you’re hurting me.”
A growl emanated from his chest, his wolf lowering its head and baring its teeth. Her eyes widened.
This close with his hands wrapped around her upper arms, he was more than aware how his size dwarfed hers. He’d gained the weight back, thanks to her, and now he was using it against her.
Justifiably. She had yanked his chain one too many times.
“Why would you do this?” he said. “Why would you do this to me?”
“I… I thought you needed help remembering. I wanted to recreate the moment. Sometimes a smell can bring it back.” She squirmed within his too-tight grip.
“I remember, Selene. I remember everything about that day,” he said through his teeth. “But did it ever occur to you that that memory holds nothing but pain for me?”
Tears formed in her eyes. “You’re hurting me,” she whispered.
He shook her harder. “They’re dead. Every time I think of how perfect our family was, I remember what Alex took from me. He’s still out there somewhere, probably being nursed back to health by an evil dragon bitch, and everything that was right and good about my life is gone. Think about what this means. You are telling me that my core memory, the thing that brings light to my soul, is something I can never have again. How can you believe for a second that I can ever leave my vice behind when the darkness is the only thing holding me together? There’s no hope for anything else. Everything that was good about me is dead.”
Trembling, Selene twisted from Jason’s grip. A tear slipped from the corner of her eye, carving a path down the slope of her nose to her upper lip. “Everything good about you isnotdead,” she said softly. “I wouldn’t be here if I thought the light in you had died.” She rubbed her shoulders, backing away. “Alex didn’t take everything from you. There are still people who believe in you. People who need you.”
“Like who?”
“Silas… and Laina.”
Jason rolled his eyes.
“The pack. All the people whose businesses you invest in.”
“Silas is more alpha than any pack needs, including ours. And you don’t need light in your soul to make a good investment.”
“Me.” Selene’s gaze lifted to his. “I need you.” Her voice was as brittle as a dried bone.
He licked his lips. “Yeah. You need me to get better so you can be promoted to priestess.” He snorted derisively.
“No. That’s not it.” Selene’s voice was laden with emotion as if she were on the verge of tears.
