“I’m so sorry, Tracey,” I whispered, not having known that.
“I-I want—I don’t think you’re lying but…” Clare looked beyond gobsmacked. She let out a long breath. “I believe. Youhave no reason to lie, but I’m having trouble matching that up. I’ve never, not ever seen her act racist.”
I thought a moment and sighed. “She had choice words about Father hiring that Hispanic driver, but I thought it was over immigration status or shesaidit was and it could bring human attention to us.”
Tracey nodded but kept Clare’s gaze. “Because you matter, Clare. She kept the mask on with you always. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. You think that the mask she wore was for everyone else and you got to see the real her and that’s the love you’ve felt. I’m telling you this not to hurt you but so you don’t get hurtanymore.”
“Because while we heard what you said and it’s hard to accept you’re on the team, we’re not against you being on the team,” Jasmine muttered. “We’re not rooting against you. I’m certainly not.”
“I will think on what you said, truly,” Clare said, obviously wanting the topic dropped.
Tracey nodded but then paused. “You deserve love worthy of you, Clare. Especially after all you’ve been through. Don’t make excuses to hold onto the only love you’ve known because you’re scared. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. It’s the mistake I made and regret.” She focused on me and smiled. “I found the family I needed and—blood means shit.”
“Blood means shit,” I agreed and then decided to lighten the mood. “I think seltzers might be my jam, but this one has a weird aftertaste.”
“I’m going to ignore the underage drinking and let’s focus on making decisions for this place since you now know about it,” Jasmine drawled.
“I like this flavor and fuck if some day drinking isn’t needed,” Tracey mumbled as she grabbed it from me.
I ended up with a mango flavor that I loved, sipping it as we started with glamping Jupes—which I didn’t know was a thing… And I still didn’t know if it was a brand name or like a type of tent?
I didn’t think it really mattered.
They were something between a tent and a cabin, definitely not just putting in stakes and thin material. They were like bigger cabanas at swank pools in the movies almost. They also weren’t cheap, or at least the ones we were looking at so the whole area wasn’t an eyesore.
Someone had already confirmed we could get plumbing out there, so we were going to build a legit shower and bathroom house thing like at campgrounds. Nothing fancy but a couple of each plus a sink and kitchen area for cleaning after cooking and whatnot. I thought it was awesome.
“We could do like a huge outdoor hot tub over there,” I muttered glancing at the spot and trying to picture it.
“That’s what I’m talking about, little sexy!” Winter called over. “Everyone’s adults and would follow not using it solo or no glass in it. It just sounds so fucking nice on a cool night after harvesting or working hard.”
“Herepeatedlyadded it into the plans,” Jasmine drawled, studying me intently. “He really didn’t push you to suggest it?”
“No, it’s all her,” Tracey chuckled, not even glancing at me. “This girl and her baths—Henry used to joke she was part fish. He said he hated how unhappy Bevin was in that house, but at least she smiled at bathtime.”
“Everyone left me alone, and then I found they helped with my magic being all over since I didn’t have real training,” I said with a shrug. “And Grandfather teaching me to swim was…” I shrugged again, not wanting to rub my good memories of him in Clare’s face.
Plus, they were all a bit painful right then.
Luckily, lunch came and we chowed down on the sandwiches as we finished what needed to be decided. It was a lot more than the new campsite area. The final plans for the house addition were done, but now it was down to details. Countertops and tiles and floors and nothing I cared about or ever wanted to think about.
Much less make the decision on. I knew Clare was frustrated with that, but Tracey was right that the goal was mostly to match without trying too hard to match. Nothing should be exact and pay gobs to find it, but where there was gray tile we should try for similar gray tile. Wood floors were the same type and keep them natural like we had.
I thought a lot of this had already been handled, but I realized Clare had wanted me to say it and not risk upsetting me that she’d overstepped. It was nice.
Her trying was really nice.
The whole day was even.
Nice was, well… Nice.
So were hard seltzers.
11
Taylor
I heard the distinct sound of skin being slapped right before I reached Dad’s study. I froze and moved back a bit to keep out of view because… Habit. Being sneaky and covert was simply habit now.
