Allie heard the derision in his voice, and she was not willing to hear it. He could think whatever he wanted, but he had no right to judge her. Just because Allie and Gabriel had nothing going on, didn't mean that she was going to tell him. She found herself just as angry with Justice as she had been with Ben. Why did men keep thinking that they could decide her fate?
“I’m not,” she snapped back, “but that is none of your business. I can’t help it what my brother has done. He made up his mind about Gabriel and won’t listen to me. I can’t help that.” The guilt of it all was already right in her throat and she was unable to swallow it down.
Allie tried not to let her voice catch, but it did. She was so mad at Ben and so sorry for Gabriel. She was also mad at Justice for saying such a thing. Why was it so easy for him to imagine that the two of them were together? Why was he so quick to think that she was sleeping around? It hurt her that he would even think that. Why didn't she just tell him the truth? It would have been easier.
“I wasn't trying to make it sound like that,” Justice said with a question on his lips. He was acting like he was feeling guilty, that he had been so rough with her, but Allie wanted to hear it. She was the one that had let it all go to her head for a moment. Allie knew that she couldn’t have anything to do with Justice, so why was she worried about it anyway? Her brother was going to marry her off not too long in the future, considering what happened with Gabriel, and right then she would have no freedom.
Her freedom was dangerous for the people around her, destroying lives that she hadn’t meant to hurt. It was a lot of pressure. It made freedom, less free. There was no way that she wanted anybody else to get hurt because of her. Allie was never going to be able to forgive herself when it came to Gabriel. She didn’t want even more guilt to pile on. Allie had to fight her body and instincts. She had to stay away from Justice or he was right, he would be right there with Gabriel, and Allie wouldn’t be able to accept it.
Chapter 8
Justice
Justice let it slip. He didn't mean to, the last thing he should have mentioned was Allie and Gabriel, but his mind was rolling it around, and he wanted to know what was really going on. Were the two of them together? Since he didn't get any kind of answer from Allie and she got really defensive, it made him wonder what was really going on. He had no real clue.
By the end of his first day of duty, Jeff was giving him sideways glances that he didn’t even ask him about because he didn’t want to hear the truth. It was obvious that Jeff had seen too much, and Justice was feeling too much for Allie. He knew that there was going to be something that he wasn’t going to be able to fix, but he didn’t even care.
Jeff looked to Justice and said something to break the silence on their way back. “Are you not going to say anything? Do you expect me to pretend like nothing happened?”
That was certainly what Justice wanted to happen, but he should have known that it was impossible. Of course, there had to be some kind of explanation, but did he really have to say anything? Jeff knew that Justice had always had a thing for Allie, it really wasn’t that uncommon. The big surprise was the way Allie reacted to him; that was throwing Jeff off. Justice could see it. It was one thing for all the soldiers to imagine their life with royalty, but it was another thing altogether to get the attention back. It was unheard of.
Allie was supposed to look down on them, not smile and bat her eyes the way that she had. He honestly hadn’t thought too much about it. He was still trying to get used to it himself. Jeff asking questions didn’t help, but he certainly hadn't wanted to stop it.
So, he went the route of an idiot like he had no idea what his friend was talking about. “Seriously, Jeff, what are you going on about? I think you have gotten something crossed along the way. Allie wasn't flirting with me. She was just being nice. You know that she rarely gets out and about, so she probably has forgotten her place. That isn’t hard to imagine considering how much her brother keeps her locked up.” Justice smiled at the end of it, proud that he had gotten such a great reasoning out of thin air.
Justice didn't want to say anything more way or another about it. He pretended that he didn’t care about her one way or another, but it was hard to pretend and lie to Jeff. His friend knew him too well. If he pushed and found out though, it could very well put his friend in real danger, and he would never forgive himself if that was what happened.
Allie would soon be gone. He knew that she would be married off by 21, most likely. Ben wasn’t going to wait much longer, and there were rumors that he had found a lucky foreigner to take her. Allie would have to accept him without much fight. She would not have a choice. Her brother would find her a stable mate, and she would go wherever she was sent. Justice worried that he may never see her again.
“Well look, I'm not saying that I don't believe you when you say that nothing is going on, but as an outsider looking in, you two are kind of suspicious. I just thought I would let you know that.”
Justice thanked him and told him that he did know that. He said he was a good friend, but that he had nothing to worry about. Justice hated to lie to a friend, but under the circumstances, he was willing to lie more if that was what it came to. Under no circumstances was he to let anyone know how he truly felt about Allie. That would get him a quick death if they knew about the kiss, and Justice wasn't trying to die today.
***
The next morning, Justice and Jeff were ordered to get the Princess to meet with her brother. Justice did not know the workings of the royal family, but he was learning quickly that Allie didn't seem to have much say in where she went or what she did. She was only allowed to leave to go to a few places and anytime outside of that, she had to have permission and somebody to go with her. Justice couldn't imagine how that would be like to live under those rules. He could kind of understand her desperation before, when he found her in the city. It was almost the feeling that he couldn't blame her for doing it. He had thought that she was just a spoiled girl, but she was very easily a prisoner that was sick of the cage she was in. That wasn't so hard to understand at all, and Justice couldn't help the sympathy that he felt for her.
Jeff made a couple of comments on their way over about how Justice had his sights a little too high up. Justice would agree, of course. He knew that he could never have somebody like Allie. It was just laughable and what made it more laughable was that the two of them had kissed. That was probably as far as anybody of his kind could ever expect. It would never get better, frightening, but true. So why then, did Justice think of nothing else but having more of her? He knew that there was something off with how she made him feel, but Justice could never get his mind around it. He knew that there was probably the danger aspect of it that he liked so much, but there was something more. Destiny felt like it was playing a role in it, or at least that was what he liked to think. Justice wanted it to be in the stars, so that he could have her like he wanted the whole time. It would have made the guilt of what they’d done and what he wanted them to do less.
When he saw her, all his good intentions went away. He could tell that she was tired. She’d been awakened early, just like him, but that was because she was going to meet with her brother. She had been summoned and if Justice had to guess, it wasn’t going to be a good meeting. Ben liked to do unpleasant things early in the morning. Justice honestly didn’t know if he liked to get it done and over with or if he liked to start his day right.
“Good morning,” Justice told her softly. Allie nodded and said that she would be done in a few moments. She had a dress on which looked lovely, but there was a part of him that wanted desperately to see what was underneath the fabric. Justice couldn’t stop the overwhelming need that took over. He worried that was how he was always going to feel around her. If that was the case, Justice didn’t know how he was going to be able to hide his true feelings. He was going to have to get better at it and quick. He would be expected to be there at the meeting, and Justice didn’t want Ben to see how discombobulated he got with his sister around.
Jeff was also giving him sideways looks, but Justice ignored him. He was focused fully on getting his heart back to a slow and steady pace. It was harder to control his attraction to her when everyone around him could tell when he reacted in that way. Justice knew that he was going to have to be careful, because nothing good was going to come from it.
They waited around for Allie for a few more minutes for her to put her long raven hair up into a clip high on her head, and they also gave her time to put some makeup on. She was already about ten minutes late to go see her brother, but she did not seem to be too worried about it. Justice could feel her uneven breathing and hear when her heart was skipping and going fast or too slow. He figured that she was imagining something bad, likely what was about to happen with her brother. Did she worry about him getting caught like Gabriel?
That last thought threw Justice off enough that he had to shake it off. When they were ready to escort her to see Ben, she took his arm like they were on a date. Justice immediately felt the reaction of his body to the touch, and he did not need that in his life. He was already trying to convince Jeff that something wasn't going on.
“I don't mean to get too close, but I’m feeling a little lazy and I don't want to fall.”
As soon as she said it, Justice was thankful for it. Did she know that it would ease things between him and Jeff? Did she know how it looked on the outside and how she was helping it? Did she know how badly she was affecting him and how much he wanted to share another kiss with her? All of that seemed possible, but Justice really wasn't sure. They couldn't talk about what happened because they were supposed to pretend like it never did, so it left Justice wondering what was going on. She squeezed his hand as he got closer to her brother.
“You know, everything is going to be okay,” Justice assured her. He had no reason to believe it, but it seemed to make her feel a little bit better and she relaxed next to him. What was he doing? This was all going to end very badly and even knowing that, Justice wasn't able to stop himself. He wanted to do anything he could to help her.
Chapter 9
Allie
