She had no idea how Justice was going to take any of it. Bishop would let her see him, she just knew it. She looked to Bishop and smiled, trying to convey how they were so close to being in love. That's all she had to show, was how much they were into each other. Allie could have never imagined that she would go along with such a crazy scheme, but what other choice did she have? She had not been able to figure a way out of her problem, so maybe this was it. Allie had no idea how she was supposed to feel about any of it. She tried her best to focus on what was going on. Her brother kept giving her this strange look, probably trying to figure out why she was being so nice. Allie wasn't usually so accommodating but today she was. Today she could see her life somehow working out to be something other than a complete mess. That was progress as far as Allie was concerned.
It got late quickly, and Allie decided that she was just going to have to be all in on Bishop's plan. She was pregnant, he didn't like girls, they both had secrets. Their union could be the best of both worlds because now he would have what he needed, and Allie would have the disguise that she needed. It was perfect, as long as she didn't think about Justice and how he was going to feel about it all. She hoped that he would see that it was the only way that they could be together. Allie certainly couldn't think of another.
She didn't try to go to Bishop, although maybe she should have gone to him to talk some more. Allie was making a huge decision; she was about to mate with someone for the rest of her life. For some reason though, she knew that he was the one for her. It made no sense honestly, but Allie was convinced any other way the scenario worked out was not going to be a good one. Her brother was never going to forgive Justice, they were going against every code being with her. It really had all happened differently than she could have anticipated. Bishop was handing her a lifeline and if Allie was smart, she’d take it.
Allie told herself the morning would tell all. In the morning she was going to announce her plans to marry Bishop. It wasn't something she had even considered when coming, but she knew that there was nothing else she could do about it.
Chapter 17
Justice
When Justice heard the news that was traveling back to the village, he couldn't believe it. Allie had been gone a day and supposedly she was now going to mate the man she was supposed to, earlier than Justice could have ever imagined. He tried to wrap his head around it, but it was impossible. How could she marry him? Justice knew that it made sense, but the pain in his heart from finding it out was more than he could bear. It was certainly more than he wanted to bear.
The worst part was the look that he got from Jeff. Justice knew what Jeff was going to say. He was going to say something like it was probably for the best. And Justice could understand that reasoning, but the truth of it was, that was the last thing he wanted to hear. If he heard something like that, Justice wasn't exactly sure what he would do. He knew that it wouldn't be anything good though. He couldn't imagine Allie would do such a thing. It just didn't make any sense after she had left. Then again, Justice liked to imagine that she didn't have a choice. Justice didn't know if he should feel like an idiot, but he was definitely borderline at the moment. What was he supposed to do now?
They got back to Justice's place and Jeff asked him if he wanted to get a beer.
“Yeah, I think I need a couple.” Justice really couldn't believe that Allie was going to go ahead with marrying a stranger. Did her brother find out? It just really didn't make any sense. Justice had to know that it was probably the inevitable, but that did not mean that he was ready to accept it. They were going to be married that night. In just a couple of hours. Could he get there in time? Justice really liked to believe he could. He almost did leave, but Jeff must have known something was off and told him that he wanted to stick with him tonight. Did he know that Justice was going to do something to likely get himself killed? For whatever reason, Justice’s drinks seemed a little bit stronger than usual, and it wasn't long before he was completely out of it. He still thought about Allie, but he knew that he wasn't going anywhere.
The problem was, he may have well said too much. Justice didn't remember much from the night before. Instead, he had a bad feeling that he had said too much. When he called Jeff later that morning, he didn't pick up. Justice had run scenarios in his head that made him really nervous. He wasn't sure if he should expect guards to come for him or not. What he had done was against every rule. Even in the midst of it, Justice knew that it wasn't a good idea. In the aftermath, he felt even sicker to his stomach. What the hell had he been thinking?
Justice didn't know what to do. He was filled with dark thoughts and before too long he was convinced that the whole world was against him, or at least the people that he trusted the most. It was over now; Allie was mated to another man. Justice felt sick to his stomach. There was nothing he could do about it. All he could do was focus on something else, but it was then that he realized he had nothing else in his life to compare it to.
The problem with that was he waited the whole day for bad news to come to him. He waited for Allie's brother to take him down because he had found out about it, but that never happened. Instead, he was left the whole day to deal with his own emotions and that was easier said than done. Justice wanted to believe that it was what had to happen. He didn't want Allie to get hurt if she had done something. Justice worried about her, but at the same time, he worried about himself as well. Ben had always given everybody clear instructions about what would happen if they tried to touch his sister. Allie was gorgeous and Justice wasn't the first person to fall in love with her.
He spent all day feeling like the biggest idiot. Not only had he fallen for her, but he had honestly believed that they had something between them. He really thought that the two of them had something special between them. He was wrong on so many levels, which made him think that he couldn’t trust anything. That was how it felt, and it wasn’t a good feeling at all.
Jeff came by later that night. Justice felt weird because he didn’t know what he had or hadn’t said. He wanted to believe that even in the state he was in earlier, he wouldn’t have said anything out of the way, but Justice couldn’t trust that feeling anymore. He wanted to, of course, but he really wasn’t sure.
Finally, he just came out with it. “Did I say some things that I shouldn’t have last night?”
Jeff smiled and Justice knew that he had. Jeff just shook his head though and said that everything was fine. “Don’t worry about it, Justice. You were upset and said some things, so what.”
Justice was grateful to hear that. He really was. There was a part of him that was glad that Jeff knew, if nothing else. He had been afraid to tell Jeff the truth because he would know and then could use it against him. Justice saw now that he was just being silly.
“I wish I wouldn't have said anything to you, Jeff. However, I wish more that I wouldn't have done it.”
Jeff shook his head and smiled. “I don't believe that for one minute. You seem to be having an okay time with it. I am sure you wouldn’t wish it away.”
Justice nodded in agreement. “I really wish I wouldn’t have done it. I felt something for her and now she's somebody else's. She got mated a few days later, so it must not have been anything to her. She's probably carrying my child and now someone else is going to raise my baby. This is bullshit.”
The more Justice talked about it, the more upset he got. He couldn’t believe what he had done to himself, how he had gotten into such a mess.
Jeff looked empathetic. “Well, just be lucky that nobody found out. You don't know how lucky you are, man. They tortured Gabriel for almost a week just because they thought he had kissed her.”
Justice looked away. There was no way that he was going to tell Jeff the truth about that one. That kiss was him, not Gabriel. He could have ended Gabriel’s torture, but that would have put a noose around his own neck. Justice couldn't let that happen. Every time he played it back in his head, it was all things that he had to do. He didn't have a choice.
“Yeah, I hear you, Jeff. No offense, but I don't really feel very lucky. I feel like I just lost my true love.”
To his credit, Jeff didn't completely laugh in Justice's face. He gave out a dubious look, but it could have certainly been far worse. “You didn't know her long enough to be in love with her,” Jeff suggested.
Justice didn't believe that at all. He was damn sure he was in love with her because he had never felt that way before. That had to mean something, right? That's what he thought anyway. Justice couldn't be blasé about it, and he couldn't pretend like he didn't care. He cared and he didn't know what the hell he was supposed to do. How was it ever going to get better?
They started drinking again, Jeff was good at knowing exactly what his friend needed. Justice needed to forget. He needed the bliss that came with a large amount of alcohol. Maybe he would need that crutch for a long time. What else would take the pain to a level that was doable? It didn't feel like anything was going to.
Justice made sure to keep his mouth shut that time around. He knew that everything he said needed to stay in his mind. While Jeff had accepted what he did and didn't turn him in, it didn't mean that somebody else couldn't overhear and get back to Ben with the information. That meant that Justice had a little bit less to drink and the whole time he was watching his words. Justice wasn't going to make the same mistake. If he was going to get away with it, how in the world could he fail to save himself by just shutting up? It felt like a secret that was going to be buried so deep for the rest of his life, that he would always have to swallow it back down. Justice worried about that. He wasn't very good with secrets.
Chapter 18
