“Are we ever looking for it when it happens?” Sarai asked drolly.
“No. But this is still just casual,” she insisted. “So, you can tease and play, but I’m just going to thwart your efforts. Now, come on, let’s look at the footage from the wedding of the century.”
???
Stephan was back in Australia, along with Liam and Thomas. He lived in a big house in Caringal, which was surrounded by big forest area. It was the best place for him and Thomas. And it was the place where they had been constantly trying to make their dragon forms stronger so that one day, they could take revenge on Dale and George for killing Stephan’s family.
Since the day he’d returned, he had been constantly thinking about Mickey. There was not a single second he had not missed her. The dragon in him was selfish and wanted to taste her once again.
Stephan’s eyes focused in on the television screen in front of him. This was the idle prattle he rarely paid attention to, rather preferring to zone out in his own head. But the welcome distraction was meant to soothe his mind. He couldn’t help but keep thinking that he was somehow betraying Aiyana, that his thoughts shifting continually toward Mickey was an ultimate betrayal of some sort. He knew it was stupid, foolish even. Aiyana had long been dead, and the sacrifice she had made had entirely been for him.
The more he thought on it, the more he realized that had to be why he felt the pang of shame that kept hitting him directly in the chest. But still, Stephan wasn’t sure as he wrestled with lingering self-doubt. Somehow or another, he needed to come to terms with it. It wasn’t like Aiyana was ever coming back, and if the tables had been turned, the last thing Stephan would have wanted was for Aiyana to keep herself from being happy.Didn’t he deserve the same thing?
Stephan glanced up as he heard a rapping at the door.
“Yeah?” he called out, expecting it to be Liam or Thomas. Sure enough, around the corner popped up the face of his uncle. “What do you need now?”
“You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what?” Stephan asked, turning his attention back toward the TV.
“Locking yourself up as some sort of penance for your guilt and fears. I just don’t get why,” he said.
“You’re going to give yourself a stroke worrying about me this much. I’m fine. I promise,” Stephan insisted.
“Bullshit. You have been moping around ever since we are back from Maldives. Are you going to deny it? Because I have never seen you as happy as you were while she was there with you and now… well, you seem entirely distracted. Like your mind is off in the clouds somewhere.”
“Damn it, Thomas. I love you dearly, but I really don’t need you meddling in my affairs,” Stephan said, whirling around to look back at him defiantly.
“You know, Stephan, I fear that you really fail to see that you, too, deserve to be happy. I haven’t seen you glow as much as you did since… well, since you lost your family, and then Aiyana.”
Stephan sighed and leaned into the couch, lifting his head to the ceiling as he closed his eyes. “Just go. Ireallyneed some personal space. Some time to think,” Stephan whispered.
“Alright, but just remember, there’s no reason to feel guilty for those who have already passed on,” Thomas said before he walked out of the room.
???
Stephan stared at his phone, Mickey’s picture at the top as he thought of what to text her. He still felt he was betraying Aiyana, but he couldn’t get Mickey out of his mind, no matter how hard he tried. He wanted to feel her in his arms, beneath him in the bed, her lips pressed to his. He couldn’t stop imagining what they would do together.
The napkin Mickey had scrawled her number across sat right beside it. For the last couple of hours, he had struggled with whether or not he should call her or let her be. Thomas had once again been right, but he still wasn’t sure what to think about how Mickey sometimes behaved. It was almost like she wasn’t sure of what she wanted. Like she was apprehensive about engaging fully in anything romantic.
He also had to agree with his uncle about his ability to pursue her, however, and it did seem that she always reacted to that. Whether she was fully vested in trying a relationship out or not didn’t really matter when her body spoke about her most intimate desires. He leaned forward and reached for both the phone and the napkin, drawing them closer as he began to punch in the numbers to text Mickey. It always seemed less invasive to him, somehow. Problem was, he still didn’t exactly know what to say.
Hi Mickey,
It’s Stephan. I just wanted to check in on you and see how things are going. Did you make it back safely? How was your flight? Really looking forward to speaking with you again. Take care. Until later – Stephan.
Then he clicked his screen off, sighing as he reached for his cup of coffee, nodding at Liam, who was just approaching. His manager was later than usual, a clear sign he wasn’t sleeping well, and Stephan looked at him expectantly as he slid into the booth across from Stephan.
“I don’t want to hear it. I’m fine,” Liam answered without the question actually being asked. “But I’m seeing you happy but hesitant, and it worries me.”
Stephan scowled. “Why is that?”
“Because you should enjoy the happiness, Stephan. This misguided loyalty to someone who isn’t here anymore is going to put you into the grave. You’ll never feel whole. And the way you are with this Mickey is so close to what you had. I can feel your happiness radiating off you every time you talk to her or mention her.”
“And you feel it’s alright to forget Aiyana?” Stephan challenged, reminding him that he was one of the fiercest dragon shifters among all dragon shifter clans, and also a son of an Elite King.
“No,” Liam said, “but there’s no danger of you ever forgetting her. You’re simply moving on and continuing to live, and I think she would want that for you.” Liam sighed. “To be honest, I think she’s good for you. I haven’t seen you this happy since before Aiyana died.” His expression grew grim.Damn Liam and his idiocy.
