Aubrey stiffened at her side but said nothing, and she wished she could retract them. That she could tear them out of the air, expunge them from his mind. That she could unsay them. But she couldn’t. It was too late.
Then he leaned over her and kissed her softly on the lips. “Go to sleep, minx.”
That was all he said, nothing more. He settled the bedclothes over them both, cocooning them in warmth, and then he pulled her against him.
Disappointment sliced into her heart, but she hastily banished it. What had she expected? That a hardened rake like the Duke of Richford would confess his undying devotion to her?
Aubrey had repeatedly warned her what he was. A rake to the marrow, heartless. She knew it, and she loved him anyway.
Loved him enough for the both of them.
She would just have to keep those forbidden words tucked away inside her heart from this moment forward.
With what remaining time they had.
Telling herself this, she fell asleep wrapped in his arms.
But when she woke in the morning, it was to the sunlight streaming in the windows, the cottage quiet and still, nary a hint left behind to suggest the past few days had been anything more than a figment of her imagination. Not a handkerchief, nor a necktie. Not even a button from his shirt. Nothing but the faint scent of him on his pillow and a bathtub filled with water that was as cold as her heart.
Aubrey was gone.
CHAPTER 16
Aubrey had regretted bringing Perdita with him almost the second his carriage had departed Wingfield Hall. She had offered to suck his cock on the short voyage to his country seat, Villiers House, and when he had politely declined, she had pouted for the duration of the ride.
The only pouting woman he could abide was Rhiannon.
And the only woman he wanted in his carriage was her too.
But he couldn’t have her.
Which was why he was presently sitting in his study at Villiers House getting roaringly drunk. And which was also why he didn’t want Perdita hovering over him like a bloody mosquito, intent upon sucking his blood. Or his cock. Or anything.
He glared at his bottle of gin, his head feeling light and listless and dizzied. As well it might. He had commenced drinking yesterday when he had arrived at Villiers House, and he hadn’t stopped since. Getting soused didn’t drown out the guilt or the misery that had been his ever-constant companion since he had abandoned Rhiannon in the cottage at dawn the day before.
But it was all he could do to keep himself from going to her.
She loved him. He didn’t deserve her. Didn’t believe in love. He knew what love led to, and it was naught but death, madness, and destruction. She deserved so much better than that. So much better than him. Aubrey brought the bottle to his lips and downed half of it at once.
The door to his study opened, and the wrong woman swept across the threshold.
Perdita was gorgeous, and her bubbies were hanging out of her bodice in a most indecent fashion, but his cock didn’t give a damn and neither did the rest of him. Because she wasn’t Rhiannon.
He glared at the viscountess and realized she had two heads and four breasts. “Who let you in here?”
“I let myself in,” she said breezily. “I’m growing weary of wandering around alone. You told me you wished for company. Why else did you bring me with you? I could have stayed at the house party for another day.”
Damn it, was she pouting again? Aubrey squinted at her. “You’re deuced tedious.”
“I’mtedious?” Her voice vibrated with outrage. “You brought me here and have yet to even so much as touch me.”
True. When he had made his decision to leave the house party early, he had known he would need to do so with haste. He’d also known that he would need to do something drastic. Something that would keep Rhiannon from following him with her stubborn determination to see the bloody good in him and to love him.
Christ knew he couldn’t resist her.
“As you can see, I’m rather occupied at the moment,” he pointed out rudely, lifting his bottle of gin to Perdita.
Gin wasn’t his ordinary drink of choice. He saved it for days when he wanted to get so thoroughly soused that he could drown out everything in his mind. He had been on a steady diet ofit since his arrival the day before, and he had no intention of stopping any time soon.
