“Is it about Lady Heathcote? Whatever happened at Villiers House, I don’t want to know,” she began. “It has no bearing on our future, and?—”
“Nothing happened,” he interrupted. “That was part of what I wanted to tell you. When I left Wingfield Hall, I was desperate to keep you from me. I knew I had to do something reckless or you would stubbornly forgive me and try to make amends. When you told me you loved me, I was terrified. I didn’t believe I was capable of loving you or being the husband you deserved, so I left like a coward. And I took Lady Heathcote with me because I thought that if you believed I had betrayed you with her, you would be too hurt to continue pursuing me. I thought you would be better off.”
“Do you mean that the two of you didn’t… But I saw you together. She was in your lap.” Tears welled in Rhiannon’s eyes, and she blinked them away. “I don’t want to know, Aubrey.”
“I didn’t bed her, Rhiannon. I’ve done a lot of wretched things and made far too many mistakes where you’re concerned, but that isn’t one of them. She was in my lap, trying to persuade me to join her when you arrived. But I never did, and after you had gone, I sent her on her way. If I had thought, even for a moment, that she would have tried to hurt you, I never would have taken her with me.”
“I believe you,” she said, shocking him.
Heaven knew he’d done nothing to earn her trust. But he was relieved he had it just the same.
“Thank you.”
She nodded. “But why were you so desperate to keep me from you? Why did you push me away? Help me to understand.”
Aubrey swallowed hard and forced himself to relive that horrible day. “When I was sixteen years old, my father went mad and killed my mother in a jealous rage. He thought she had taken a lover. They quarreled, and somehow, he took a knife and, well… As she lay dying, he went to his study, took out a pistol, and shot himself. I was the one who found my mother in her sitting room. She was already gone. I… I heard the report of the pistol.”
He could still see his mother, lying there in her silk gown soaked with blood. Could smell the coppery tang in the air, feel his throat closing with horror as he tried helplessly to wake her. But just as swiftly as the past rose up before him, the present was there to anchor him. He forced himself to inhale deeply of Rhiannon’s jasmine scent, to absorb her vital warmth and softness, to hold her tightly to him and just be.
The past could not harm him.
Not any longer.
“My God, Aubrey.” Tears were running down Rhiannon’s cheeks now as she gazed up at him. “I had no idea.”
“The servants were paid well to keep what had happened a secret. My grandmother did her best to prevent the truth of my father’s sins from becoming fodder for wagging tongues, but there were whispers. And you see, I… I vowed that day that I would never be like my father. I suppose a part of me has been afraid that if I fell in love, I would also go mad and hurt the one closest to me. I couldn’t bear that. I thought I was protecting you, keeping you safe from me.”
“I am so sorry for what happened to your mother and for the horrors you endured. If I could travel back in time and change it, I would.”
His sweet minx, always putting him before herself.
“You were naught but a girl then.”
“And you were a boy.” Rhiannon dashed at her tears with the back of her hand. “A boy who deserved so much better.”
“The past is where it belongs.” He cupped her cheek, catching another stray tear on the pad of his thumb. “Neither of us can change it, but we can choose the future. I choose love. I choose you and our child. And I hope you’ll choose me as well.”
“Of course I choose you,” she said. “I’ll always choose you. I love you, Aubrey.”
He lowered his head, pressing his forehead to hers. “And I love you. I’m so sorry for leaving you that morning. I promise I’ll never leave you again.”
She rubbed her nose against his. “I won’t let you.”
His poor beak hurt thanks to Whit’s fist, but he didn’t say a thing. He would suffer the pain a thousandfold if it meant she was his forever.
“Will you marry me, Lady Rhiannon Northwick, and do me the greatest honor of my life by becoming my wife?” he asked.
She didn’t hesitate. “I will.”
His lips found hers, and he kissed her tenderly, showing her without words what he felt for her.
When he lifted his head again, his minx was back, tears no longer glistening in her eyes. “What took you so long to come to your senses?”
He thought of the wretched state King had found him in and grimaced anew. “I was in a bad way. Kingham came to me and helped me to see reason. He pulled me back from the edge. It took me a few days to collect myself and come to London.”
Rhiannon cradled his swollen cheek. “Oh my love, you’re in a bad way now.”
His face would heal, just as his heart had.
