“Ifyouwere my wife, Lottie, I would cleave unto you, and you alone,” Brandon told her with an earnest intensity she could not doubt was anything other than genuine.
Something inside her quickened. His words reached a place she’d thought long inured to feeling, a place that had been hollow and numb. But that wasn’t the sole effect. Heat blossomed between her thighs, an unwanted reaction she couldn’t suppress. Her body was clearly a lunatic. So was her heart.
“But I shan’t be your wife,” she forced herself to say quietly. “I hope that such steadfast devotion will also be applied to the lady you ultimately bestow that honor upon.”
“Whyareyou so unwavering in your resolve to never wed again?” he asked softly instead of speaking to whether he would be faithful to the lady he ultimately chose as his bride. “You’ve never explicitly stated the reasons. One can presume your unhappiness with your former husband is a concern, but surely you cannot imagine every man will treat you as he did.”
The reasons were many. And deeply private. Something else occurred to her.
“You have never explained preciselywhyyou need to marry,”
she countered. “I find it difficult to believe you would take a wife simply because your grandmother demanded it of you. It would seem neither of us has been entirely candid with the other.”
He inclined his head. “Touché, my dear.”
The soup course was whisked away and the next was laid before they could further their conversation. Although it smelled as delicious as the previous offering had, Lottie found herself loath to partake of it.
“If you must know,” he began solemnly when the footmen had once again retreated and they were alone, “I must marry because my grandmother has decreed it to be so. She hails from a wealthy family, and she is a property owner in her own right. One of her properties, Wingfield Hall, is especially dear to me for many reasons. However, Grandmother recently informed me that she intends to will Wingfield Hall to a distant cousin of mine if I fail to do her bidding.”
She studied his countenance and found nothing but unguarded, unvarnished truth there. The Duke of Brandon may be a rake as she had pointed out to him, but he wasn’t a liar. Still, Lottie sensed there was a portion of his tale that was missing.
“Why now?” she asked curiously. “What has spurred her sudden decision?”
He winced. “I’m afraid it is the fact that my natural child was delivered to her door after my domestics refused her mother entrance here. When my grandmother arrived to inform me of what had transpired, there was a regrettable incident with a famous opera singer, which, no doubt, did nothing to inspire Grandmother’s faith in me.”
“Oh my,” she said, because she was so stunned that she couldn’t think of anything else to say for a moment.
He sighed heavily. “I only learned of Pandy’s existence from my grandmother that day when she arrived to give me a dressing down and impart the news of Wingfield Hall.”
The revelation surprised Lottie, for he had seemed quite at ease with his daughter. Pandora and her father appeared to have a natural bond, even if the girl did refer to him as Duke. Lottie had supposed it was a courtesy instilled in the child, paying deference to his rank and her unfortunate position in life as an illegitimate daughter.
She found herself curious to know more. However, she knew that she didn’t have the right to ask. Heavens, what they had already discussed was beyond the pale. And yet, she wanted to know. It startled her to realize the reason—that she was fond of Pandy. Fond, even, of her menace of a dog, Cat.
“Her mother no longer wished to keep her?” she asked, unable to comprehend the notion, but recalling Pandy’s words at their first meeting.
She’s gone on a grand adventure ’n young girls can’t go on adventures. Did you know that, missus? They might fall off the ship and get drowneded.
“Her mother left for America with her most recent lover,” Brandon explained, his tone and expression equally grim. “A grand adventure that didn’t require the unwanted burden of a child. And lest you think me heartless, Pandy’s mother never informed me that she bore my child. We had an…association.And then she disappeared from London and my life. I presumed she had moved on with another chap. She had, of course, as I later learned, and married him. But after her husband died, she found a new lover, one who was not willing to bear the burden of a child that wasn’t his own. Pandy was abandoned like an unwanted mongrel sent to the streets. I can only thank God her mother knew to try my grandmother’s address before surrendering Pandy to only Christ knows what fate.”
Her heart ached anew for the child to hear the desperately sad circumstances of her young life thus far. An illegitimate child, never truly accepted or belonging, then summarily abandoned by her own mother at such a tender young age. Lottie had never been terribly close to her family, but the very notion of them abandoning her was anathema.
The food before them was cooling, and it occurred to her, quite distantly, that neither of them had touched their plates.
“I’m very sorry to hear what happened to Pandy,” she said softly, honestly. “And to you, Brandon. You seem, to your credit, not just tolerant of her as some men in your place would be, but adoring.”
“I love her,” he said, holding her gaze. “I understand that is, perhaps, irregular in our world. But the circumstances of Pandy’s birth mean less than nothing to me. She is my daughter, and if I had known of her previously, I would have moved heaven and earth to see that she was, if not with me, then well provided for. I would have made certain she knew me. In the absence of the opportunity to interview her mother myself, I can only guess at her reasons for failing to apprise me of Pandy’s arrival.”
“That is quite honorable of you.” Many aristocrats would not be so moved to acknowledge or house the children they sired on the wrong side of the blanket.
It was a dreadful offense against the children, and yet it was simply a fact. Men had children out of wedlock. Polite society turned the other way. The innocent children suffered.
The smile Brandon gave her was small, almost sad. “I’m hardly an honorable man, but I’m trying to be better for Pandy’s sake.”
There was no doubting his sincerity. And as she sat at the Duke of Brandon’s table with him, Lottie made the most astonishing realization of all.
She hadn’t just come to care for Pandy.
She cared for the Duke of Brandon as well.
