How young they had both been then, eight years ago, Court two-and-twenty to her eighteen. For one dazzling night, she had believed he could be hers. Until he had dashed her hopes, and the years had worn on while she watched him dally and flirt with others, forever beyond her reach.
One night in the wake of Percy’s death had changed all that.
Court nodded grimly. “I did. But my loyalty was to Percy rather than my own desires. I vowed to him that I would leave you alone, Vivi, and then I broke that vow and I hated myself. But I also wanted you more than I ever had.”
Sadness swept over her. For herself, for Court. For Percy. Sadness and understanding.
“And that is the sole reason you left me?” she prodded, needing to be certain. “Your broken promise to Percy?”
“My broken promise and the guilt and the anguish over his death. But also the fear that I wasn’t worthy of you. That Percy had been right to warn me away from you. A better man would not have taken the innocence of his best friend’s sister on the night of his bloody funeral.”
Tears stung her eyes, blurring her vision. “Why did you not tell me all this before you left? And if not then, why not at any time? Why wait an entire year to return to me and tell me now?”
Now when it felt as if it was far too late.
“Perhaps I should have done so. I was a ruin after Percy’s death. I didn’t know what to do. All I knew was that I had broken my vow and betrayed him. I needed time.” There was no denying the sorrow in his voice, in his eyes.
“And I neededyou,” she told him, feeling every bit as broken now as she had on the day he had driven away from her in his carriage. “But you left me. You left me for a year, with no explanation, no hope of your return, no reason you had gone. You told me our marriage was a mistake.”
Her voice hitched on the last word, and she hated herself for the vulnerability. For showing just how deeply he had cut her. For showing him just how much she still cared, even when she should not.
“I’m sorry,” he told her, regret lacing his voice. “Sorrier than you’ll ever know.”
“It’s not enough.” She blinked hard to keep the tears from falling. “Now, I am the one who needs time and distance.”
With that grim pronouncement, she moved away from him, needing to flee for the second time in as many days.
“Vivi,” he called after her.
But her feet kept going, taking her down the path that led away from the manor house and everything and everyone who could hurt her.
CHAPTER6
“Your Grace,” Lady Clementine said, surprise coloring her voice. “I thought you were speaking with Vivi.”
He had caught up to his wife’s friend after Vivi had left him standing alone in the chestnut grove. They were well beyond the ill-tempered swan, approaching the rose garden.
“I wastryingto speak with her,” he acknowledged wryly. “However, I fear I upset her instead.”
Court didn’t blame Vivi for her reaction, of course. But he wished she had not run from him, even if he understood her reason and respected her need for solitude. The house party was beginning in a fortnight, and he was running out of time to have his wife all to himself. He couldn’t shake the fear that when she was surrounded by her guests, it would be easier for her to put distance between them. Easier for her to avoid him. Easier for her to cling to her hurt and anger and refuse to give him a second chance.
“Oh dear,” Lady Clementine murmured, her countenance turning fraught. “Where is she now? Shall I go and find her?”
“I’m sure she would appreciate your company,” he said, “but I was hoping I might have a conversation with you first.”
Her brows rose. “With me, Your Grace?”
“Please, call me Bradford,” he invited, disliking the formality intensely as he always had, “or better yet, Court, as all my friends do.”
She eyed him warily, her expression turning pensive. “I’m not certain it would be wise for me to be your friend, given the circumstances.”
He gusted out a heavy sigh. “I’ll not argue the point. But since you are a friend of my wife’s, you are a friend of mine.”
“Given the way you’ve treated her this last year, you are more likely my enemy,” Lady Clementine said tartly.
And he didn’t blame her for the opinion.
“I appreciate your loyalty to Vivi,” he said, meaning those words wholeheartedly. “I’m hoping it is that same loyalty which will allow you to give me some advice concerning my present circumstances.”
