“Too clever, perhaps,” Theo cautioned.
“I enjoy his company,” she said, as if that should dismiss his concerns. “The opportunity to slip away from the guards and be free of our uncle’s watchful eye is a liberty I’ll not apologize for.”
He wondered what she had endured in his ten-year absence. “I didn’t mean to suggest you should.”
“You needn’t worry I’ll not do my duty to the kingdom,” she said, and not without a trace of bitterness. “I know what I must do. The question is whether or not you do.”
Again, the question. He wasn’t any more prepared to answer it now than he had been when he had entered the carriage. Doing so would change everything.
“You do not want the union between yourself and King Maximilian?” he asked.
“Why should I wish it?” she returned. “But it is never a matter of what I want to do in this life. It is what I must do. It is what is best for Boritania.”
He understood the faint resentment underscoring her words, for he felt it himself. Because doing what was best for their kingdom meant leaving behind the one true source of contentment he had known since his exile.
“For that reason, I have made my decision,” he told her. “For many years, I was too angered over what had happened to me and what had happened to our mother to care about Boritania. But knowing that our people are suffering, and knowing how you and our sisters will suffer under Gustavson’s evil rule, there is only one choice I can make. I’ll return.”
Some of the stiffness left his sister’s bearing, her shoulders sagging beneath the weight of what must surely be relief. She looked, for a moment, much younger than her five-and-twenty years. She resembled the young girl he remembered instead of the stoic woman she had become.
“Praise Deus,” she said. “You’ve made the right decision, Theodoric, although you don’t look happy to have done so.”
“It sits well in my soul, and yet it also sits heavy,” he confided. “There is a woman I’ve fallen in love with, and I very much hate to leave her here.”
“Ah,” Stasia said, a wealth of meaning in her tone, in her eyes. “Who is she?”
“The widowed Marchioness of Deering.” He hated referring to her by her title. Would have far preferred to make her his wife. But he knew that a hasty marriage was not the answer to his problems. He would not bind her to himself until he was assured of his fate, his future.
Pamela had known far too much suffering and loss in her life, and he wouldn’t be the source of more.
“Does she know who you are?” Stasia asked softly.
Theo sighed, for the secrets he kept from Pamela weighed heavily upon him. “Not yet.”
He knew he would have to unburden himself. She deserved the truth from him. Deus, she deserved so much more than that. However, it was the only thing he could give her. The promise of a future was beyond him.
“She loves you, then?”
Stasia’s question cut through his churning thoughts. “She does.” He couldn’t bear to think of how desperately it would hurt to have to bid her farewell, without ever knowing if he would return. “How long are you to remain in London? It would please me if the two of you would meet.”
Stasia pinned him with an arch look that reminded him of their mother. “Perhaps it would be best for you to tell her who you are before we meet. She is trustworthy, yes?”
“I would trust her with my life,” he said simply.
“She can’t know the details of our plan, regardless of your confidence in her,” Stasia cautioned. “Gustavson has trusted eyes and ears in London, waiting to carry the slightest hint of news back to him. If word reaches him of our plans, your return will be for naught, and she could be in danger as well.”
His mind returned to the darkness of the dungeon he had been locked in. Of the sound of footsteps on stone as another of his tormentors approached. Perspiration beaded on his forehead, made his palms go damp. Could he face what he had barely survived all those years ago?
Theo thought of his mother. Of his brother. Of his sisters. Then he thought of his people, the proud Boritanians suffering beneath Gustavson’s cruel rule. He thought of Pamela, her love, her strength.
And he knew he could.
He knew hehadto.
He nodded. “I’ll not risk her for anything, and nor will I risk our plan. Gustavson has been allowed to live for far too long, free of repercussions. He killed our mother, he is stealing from our people, and he deserves to meet his end by my hand.”
“How I hate him for all he’s done and everything he has taken,” Stasia whispered. “I wish it were me going in your stead. I wish I were the one to rid the land of that merciless snake.”
“We are doing it together,” he said grimly.
