“Sir,” she said, curtsying.
They stared at each other, and he couldn’t help but to see her as she had been last night, on her knees before him, those pretty pink lips wrapped around his cock. Ah, damnation. Longing was a ferocious ache lodged somewhere behind his collarbone. He wanted to touch her more than he wanted his next breath.
But he had already risked far too much by indulging in their mutual passions the night before. He didn’t dare do so again.
“Good day,” he said, intending to pass by her and carry on with his duty, regardless of how much he wished to linger. To touch her again. To kiss her.
“Theo,” she said quietly, a question in her voice.
“Marchioness,” he returned, determined to remain cool and polite. Impervious. He was a stone wall and she could not conquer him, not even with her midnight-sea eyes and her soft, parted lips. “Is there something you require?”
It should be enough to see her, should it not? He had already made love to her once. Their coupling should have been enough to remove her from his blood. To lessen the wildness of his need for her.
But no, of course, it wasn’t.
Deep in his marrow, he understood that nothing would be enough when it came to Pamela, Lady Deering. Not ever. He wanted every hour of her day, every minute, each second. But that was impossible.
She sighed, her breasts moving beneath her becoming blue gown, catching his wandering eye a moment longer than was polite. “Yes, there is something I require.”
“How may I be of assistance?”
He was calm. Formal. He was not the impassioned lover who had unwisely gone to her door the night before. He could control himself where she was concerned. He could resist her.
At least, he thought he could if he repeated it enough within his mind.
I can resist her.
I can resist her.
I can—
Pamela took his elbow in a determined grasp, pulling him along with her. “Come with me, if you please.”
How like her, to feign manners. To pretend as if he had a choice in the matter. He’d never had a choice where she was concerned. His body and his soul had recognized her from the moment their paths had first crossed. He understood now, the old ways he had once scoffed at. How inevitable and right it had been between them from that initial meeting, even when it had been wrong.
Even though it wasstillwrong.
“Where are you taking me, my lady?” he asked as she tugged him down the hall.
She led him as if he were a child who needed governance instead of a man who was desperate to haul her into his arms and kiss her senseless. And then, with an abrupt haste that was rather unlike her, Pamela opened the door of an empty guest chamber and led him inside.
She released him quickly when they were ensconced in the room, and he mourned the lack of contact. “I hope you don’t mind my familiarity. I merely wished to speak in a more private setting than the hall.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that she could be as familiar with him as she liked, as often as she wished. But he swallowed down those impossible words, along with his many regrets. He would be cold. He would send her away from him. There was no future for a man with no name and a proper widow. She was made for marriage, not fleeting trysts, and he would sooner leap from the roof of Hunt House than bring even the slightest hint of danger to her door.
“Wouldn’t do for the marchioness to be seen speaking with the lowly bodyguard, would it?” he asked her. “Are you ashamed for wanting me, now that you’ve had your fill last night?”
“You’re angry with me.”
She said it as a statement rather than a question.
His words had been cruel, and he knew it. But it was better to create distance between them now. To cut the ties whilst he still could. That was what he had to do for both their sakes. Last night, he had allowed himself far more than he should have. He would atone for his sins, beginning now.
Theo forced all expression from his face. “I’m not angry, my lady. I feel nothing.”
Confusion swirled in her eyes. “After last night, how can you possibly feel nothing?”
“Last night didn’t change a thing for either of us. I’m still the nameless bodyguard charged with your brother’s safety, and you’re the proper widow who should avoid me at all costs.”
