The wicked rumble of his voice and the blazing heat in his stare were undeniable.
“Perhaps you ought to try those things on your own,” she suggested sweetly.
His mouth kicked into a half grin. “Touché,chérie. Though I expect you know it is not nearly as lovely on one’s own, is it? Much like dinner.”
Ha!She had a rather different idea about the latter, even if she could not argue against the former. He was right about that. No amount of released desire on her own could match the conflagration they shared together. However, she had no intention of admitting that, so she returned her attention to her plate with a renewed sense of determination.
They resumed eating, and by the time the last course had been taken away, they had reached the customary hour for Emily to go to sleep for the night. Julianna excused herself with the simple explanation.
“I shall accompany you this evening,” he said, surprising Julianna.
Disappointment and anticipation warred within her, but she nodded. “If you insist, my—Sidney.”
At the last moment, she corrected herself.
“I do.”
Together, they went to the nursery.
* * *
Sidney had not been preparedfor the sight of Julianna holding their daughter in her arms, rocking her and putting her to sleep. Oh, he had known it would affect him. But he had not realized it would be akin to a dagger in the heart.
Sharp blade, reminding him of all he had missed.
Vicious blade, taunting him at the long battle which lay ahead of him.
Wooing the hell out of his wife was proving more problematic than he had initially supposed. Dinner had been marked with heat and awkwardness, her cool civility, his attempts to charm. He had earned the use of his Christian name without a fit of passion. And he was here, in the nursery for the nightly ritual. The one he had missed so many times before.
The one he never wanted to miss again.
Blast, were his eyes burning again?
He swallowed a knot, seated beside Julianna and Emily. His beautiful girl was smiling at him, her lashes growing heavier. Her thumb was tucked into her mouth, and she looked at peace with the world in a way his jaded mind could scarcely comprehend.
“Pa,” she cooed, plucking her thumb from her mouth and reaching for him.
Her chubby hand glistened with saliva, but he did not hesitate in offering his fingers for her to grasp. She did, smiling as her eyes slipped closed. Emily astounded him.
Humbled him.
She filled him with love in a way he had never imagined possible. He loved how perfectly she was a combination of both him and Julianna. She had her mother’s determination and fiery spirit. She was stubborn, too. She had Julianna’s eyelashes and high forehead. A miracle, so small and yet so strong.
“Papa is here, poppet,” he said softly. “Go to sleep now.”
Her eyelids drooped, then stayed. All the while, Julianna rocked her, rubbing a soothing hand up and down their daughter’s spine. She was a good mother, Julianna. He wanted to understand why she had done what she had. He wanted to understandher. To move beyond the past and into a future.
But first, she had to let him into more than just her body.
Emily’s lips parted and she sighed, even breaths of slumber overtaking her, her grip on his fingers loosening. But he remained where he was, soaking in the simple joy of this moment, the miraculous nature of life. How amazing Emily was. How beautiful, how perfect, how beloved.
And to think, not long ago, he had not been aware of her existence. That seemed a lifetime ago. For now, he was content to sit here while she slept, allowing her to cling to him with her slobbery fingers, until his wrist began to tire from the unnatural angle he was being forced to hold.
“She is asleep now, is she not?” Julianna asked softly.
He flicked his gaze from Emily to her mother. In the low light of the gas lamp, her eyes were almost the same hue as the sky on a clear night, lit with stars. Navy velvet rather than summer sky, laden with mysteries. Puzzling and beautiful.
Bloody hell.Sitting here with the two of them was making him maudlin. Or mayhap the discovery he had never stopped loving his wife had.
