Her carriage stopped.
In the same strange dream she had been inhabiting since Shelbourne’s abrupt announcement of their looming nuptials the day before, she descended from the carriage. The day was particularly gloomy, the sky leaden and overcast, dense fog permeating the streets. A gentle drizzle began to fall as she made her way into the townhome. Perfectly suited to the day and her mood.
To say nothing of what she was about to do.
She wasmarryingShelbourne. The only man she had ever loved. The man who had betrayed her so thoroughly, she had traversed an ocean to be away from him.
But he was not just that man. He was also the man who had kissed her so perfectly, who had worshiped her freckles and her mouth and her body. He was also the man who had begged permission to court her that sun-stained day.
And most importantly of all, he was the father of her daughter.
Emily.
Julianna squeezed her eyes closed and took a deep, steadying breath, trying to calm her already frayed nerves. This was all temporary, she reminded herself. He would grow weary of their arrangements. She would persuade him of the wisdom of allowing her to return to New York City. Her life would be calm and predictable and she would be free to acknowledge Emily as her daughter.
The door to Cagney House opened along with her eyes, and she was ushered inside.
The frowning butler did not attempt to chase her away on this occasion. She was not made to wait in an anteroom. This time, she was expected. Her wrap and hat were whisked away, and then she found herself being led to the drawing room where his lordship apparently awaited her. As her booted feet clicked on the marble halls, she could not help but to feel a kinship with the cow and the pig being led to slaughter. There was no good that could come of this day.
The best she could hope was for this marriage business to proceed swiftly and be over promptly. And that Shelbourne had not been deceiving her that he would keep all gossip concerning their supposed marriage in New York City and Emily’s illegitimate birth stifled.
The butler disapproved of her. Wentworth, his name was.
She could not blame him. She disapproved of herself. It seemed every decision she had made concerning Shelbourne had been a mistake, from falling in love with him the first time she had laid eyes upon him, to those kisses in the lake, and everything which had come afterward. All the wonderful kisses. All the anguish, too.
She was shown into a small salon.
Shelbourne was within. He stood by the window, his back to her. He did not immediately turn when she entered the room. Julianna took a moment to gather the thinning remnants of her composure.
Her heart was beating so dratted fast.
She was going to marry Shelbourne.
Today, God help me.
“You are five minutes late,” he said coolly, without bothering to face her.
His rudeness was expected, of course. He had been nothing but cutting to her since she had first come to Cagney House.
“I am here,” she returned, wiping her palms on her skirts. “As you demanded.”
He turned to her at last. His countenance was undeniably haggard. She wondered if he had slept at all. And then she wondered how much drink he had indulged in the night before.
It does not signify, Julianna. He is not your concern. He ceased to be your concern the moment he destroyed your trust and broke your heart.
But that was not entirely true any longer, was it? She was about to bind herself to this man forever, even if she intended to put the safety of an ocean between them once more. He was also her daughter’s father.
He raised a dark brow as he sauntered forward, his expression surly. “If I recall correctly, it was you who came begging to marry me.”
His words stung.
But she refused to allow him to see it. Instead, she maintained whatever composure she possessed. “I did not beg.”
“Keep telling yourself that,chérie.” His lips twisted into a cruel, mocking grin.
Why had she allowed him to kiss her yesterday?
With great difficulty, she remained where she was as he stopped before her, all sultry, dissipated arrogance and forbidding male. “It is the truth. Iaskedyou to marry me.”
