It would seem he had some secrets to which he was insistent upon clinging. Or, rather, a woman.
“You must speak to Decker about this, Jo,” Callie said then. “Do not be too hasty to rush to conclusions. I am sure there is an explanation. Decker is a very private man, but he is a good man.”
Yes, Jo knew those facets of her husband. He was the man who had wooed her with cream ice, who had given a piano to orphans, who had danced with her in the rain. But he was also the enigma who kept a part of himself from her, who could never quite complete the intimacy between them no matter how many times they made love.
He was also the man who had turned rigid as a statue in her arms when she had foolishly confessed her love to him.
“You are correct,” she agreed with her friend,sotto voce. “I must speak with my husband.”
The sooner, the better.
Chapter Sixteen
Jo returned fromthe Lady’s Suffrage Society meeting later than she had intended. She had scarcely handed off her trappings to Rhees when Decker strode into the hall, his expression grim. Her heart clenched instantly at the sight of him, so handsome. The hurt came rushing back to her, along with all her misgivings.
What if he could never return her love?
What if he was still in love with Viscountess Tinley?
What had been in that dratted letter?
“Good evening,” he clipped, offering her an abbreviated bow before turning his attention to the butler. “See that the carriage is readied. I need to get to Hertfordshire as quickly as possible.”
“Of course, Mr. Decker,” said Rhees, before going off to do as he was bid.
He was leaving? What was in Hertfordshire? Or, dare she ask,who?
The icy fingers of dread which had held her heart in their grasp all day squeezed harder. “Decker, what is going on? Why are you rushing off to Hertfordshire?”
“My mother is ill,” he said, turning to her once more, all the color leaching from his face. “The situation is grave. I must go to her at once. You shall remain here in London, of course. I will send word to you as soon as I am able.”
He meant to travel to see his ailing mother without her? Even as renewed hurt swept over her, Jo’s heart ached for him. She knew he and his mother had not had a close relationship in recent years. But his countenance said far more than his words did. He looked as somber as she had ever seen him.
“I will go with you, of course,” she decided instantly.
“You cannot,” he denied, scrubbing a hand over his jaw. “You must not.”
“Yes,” she countered. “Imust. My place is at your side, and there is nowhere I would rather be.”
She meant those words, oh how she meant them, even if he did not want her there. Even, much to her shame, if he did not wanther. How could he believe she would allow him to go anywhere without her when he was in such a state? When he would need her?
“That is generous of you, Josie, but I insist.” He frowned. “You have only just returned, and you have not eaten dinner. What manner of husband would I be if I were to drag you away to Hertfordshire to a mother whom I have scarcely spoken with in seven years, and who is perhaps on her deathbed?”
The sort of husband who was not too afraid to want his wife at his side.
She did not say that, however.
Instead, she took his hands in hers. “And what of you? Haveyoueaten dinner?”
His gaze was distant, his jaw rigid, but he did not withdraw from her touch. “No, of course not. I was awaiting you when the telegram arrived from Hertfordshire. Now there is no time. My valet is packing a case as we speak. From what I understand, she is…fading.”
“Oh, Decker.” Although she longed to throw her arms around him and embrace him, she was not certain if it would be welcome just now. Things between them this morning had been awkward at best. And he seemed more distant this evening, if understandably so. “I am so very sorry.”
“There is nothing for which you ought to be sorry. ‘Tis the way of life, is it not?” he asked. But while he was doing his utmost to remain stoic, there was an undercurrent of deep emotion in his voice.
Although her mother had died just after her birth, Jo had felt her mother’s absence keenly all through her life. As a child, she had pretended her dolly was her mama. She had gone to sleep, staring into the darkness of the nursery, fancying her mother could hear her speak. She understood Decker’s pain, even if it was not the same breed as her own.
“I am not allowing you to go without me,” she told him firmly. “I will see to it that a hamper is packed with food for the carriage ride, and I will have my lady’s maid collect a valise for me as well. We will go together, Decker. I am your wife now. It is only right.”
