“I know how you must feel, Eli,” the woman said, speaking in such a low tone, Jo could only discern portions of what she was saying. “I do not blame you… I am angry with myself. The last ten years have been penance. I have been waiting…” Awful, ugly suspicion intruded upon Jo’s thoughts. This was no ordinary caller, was it?
Dear, merciful heavens.
Her mind spun with denial.No, no, no.
Jo looked upon the woman, the familiarity in her manner, and she simplyknew. She knew it was Viscountess Tinley, the woman Decker had loved long ago, the woman who had jilted him and broken his heart, left him jaded and guarded. She knew it was the same woman whose letter had distressed him so much that he had fled the breakfast room looking pallid, with a thin excuse.
The letter he had continued to keep a secret from Jo.
His mother’s illness and death had taken precedence over Jo’s feelings. She had tamped down all the hurt, all thoughts of the letter, all the feelings of inadequacy and doubt that letter’s arrival and her husband’s subsequent reaction to it had caused. Wounded feelings could mend, after all. Life and death were far more important.
But now, it all returned in a frenzied rush.
And Decker was not railing at the woman or ordering her to leave. He had not stormed from the room. He had not taken note of his own wife standing near the threshold, gazing upon the vignette before her with dawning horror.
Because he was too caught up in the woman.
Here was the personification of all Jo’s fears.
The man she loved did not love her. Her husband did not love her. He was keeping secrets from her. And now, his past had returned in vivid, beautiful form to haunt her. To tear him away from her forever.
She had a choice to make. She could either intrude upon this cozy scene, or she could walk away. Her heart thundered. Her mouth went dry. She wrestled with the decision, more uncertain of anything than she had ever been in her life.
“I hardly revile you,” Decker was saying, but some of his words were too impossible to hear. “…I must thank you for the choices you made…you did me a grand…I would never have known happiness and true love if not for you.”
“Oh, my darling Eli,” Lady Tinley said, rushing toward him. “You are my happiness and true love also.”
Jo felt as if a massive fist had grabbed her heart and squeezed it mercilessly. Something seized her, rendering her incapable of moving. She wanted to run, to never hear another word that was being spoken between Decker and this woman. And yet, she could not go.
But then, Decker’s voice rang out.
“No,” he said, shaking his head, staving off Lady Tinley’s advance toward him. “I do not love you. I love my wife.”
Helovedher.
Quietly, Jo backed away from the open salon door. She had eavesdropped enough. And she had heard the only words she needed to hear.
By the timeDecker had seen Nora to the door, he felt lighter and happier than he had since before his mother’s death. Finally, he was free of the past.
Forever.
Which meant that it was time to focus instead upon the future and where it would lead him. He sought out Rhees instantly, wondering where his wife was. The time had come to tell her he loved her. He only hoped he was not too late.
Rhees, ever a step ahead of him, it seemed, handed Decker a missive. “From Mrs. Decker, sir.”
He thanked his butler and tore open the note.
D.,
It seems to me that there remain items on my list which have yet to be completed. Will you assist me with number two and meet me in your chamber?
Yours,
J.
He did not require the list before him to know what number two had been. Her ways to be wicked were emblazoned upon his brain:Arrange for an assignation.Decker’s feet were already moving, taking the stairs two at a time. He could not get to her fast enough.
Chapter Nineteen
