If only she felt a fraction of the same intensity with Tom. The same mad needs.
Gritting her teeth, Nell grabbed a handful of corn and scattered it for the ducks. The swans were slower in arriving this morning, still taking their time in their slow approach. Jack scattered some corn as well, taking special care to scatter some nearer to the ducklings.
“I want them too, you know,” he said, taking up another handful of corn and sprinkling it over the grass before them.
She swallowed. “Ducks?”
“Children.” He glanced back at her, and the look he gave her was heated. “I want to be a father. The time has come. I need an heir, it is true, but I also find myself longing for a babe to hold in my arms. A little girl with golden wisps of hair and a nose just like yours.”
She did not want to hear this.
“Jack,” she protested, blindly scooping up some more corn and dispersing it for the ducks.
“And she would have your blue eyes and your long lashes,” he continued as if she had not spoken. “She would call me Papa and I would teach her how to swim in the lake when she is old enough, and you would show her how to properly sit a horse. And then a brother as well. He would be stubborn like you, and mayhap he would inherit my nose and chin.”
He was breaking her heart. Her hand trembled as she reached for another fistful of corn. She struggled to maintain her outward composure. “What a fanciful imagination you have, my lord.”
“Do not tell me you have never thought of it, Nellie.” His voice was low. Knowing.
Of course she had, damn him.
“It is a moot point,” she told him coolly. “For it will never happen.”
“It could,” he pressed. “Our babe could be growing within you even as we speak.”
“I do not believe fate would be that cruel.”
“Would it be cruel?” he asked softly. “Would you hate it that much, Nellie?”
No, she would not hate it at all. And that was entirely the problem.
“What does it matter?” she asked. “Why do you care?”
“Because I care about you, Nellie.” His hand closed over hers in the basket of corn. “Because Iloveyou.”
Desperation had her jerking her hand away from his touch. “Stop saying that.”
“Why?” He was calm. “Is it easier to lie to yourself when I do not remind you that my heart beats for you and you alone?”
Nell could not bear any more of this. How was she going to survive twelve more days of such agony? She had no inkling. All she did know was that she had to escape him.
She clenched her jaw. “Finish feeding the ducks on your own. I find myself suddenly suffering from a headache.”
With that, she turned and began hurriedly retracing her steps on the path.
“There you are, Nellie, run away again,” he called after her, his voice mocking. “Running will not solve your problems.”
He was right again, blast him.
But she ran anyway.
Ten bloody days to go.
JACK WAS RUNNINGout of time, and he had a wife who believed she could spend most of their remaining time together hiding away from him in her apartments.
She was about to discover she was wrong.
He knocked at the door adjoining their chambers.
