“Why are you doing this, Jack?” She did not move her hand away from his, but her countenance was closed as ever. “Why can you not simply let me free?”
“Because I cannot,” he admitted with raw honesty. “You are mine, Nellie. You have always been mine.”
“I am not a possession. I am a woman.” She paused, turning away from him, her gaze going back to the stream. “I have a heart, Jack. Feelings. Needs and wants. Let me go, I beg of you. This madness cannot continue between us. It hurts too much.”
Her words cut him. They were not what he wanted to hear.
His fingers tightened on hers. “Do you truly mean to tell me that you choose Sidmouth over me? That you would prefer to endure the scandal of a divorce and marry another man than remain my wife? Even after everything we have shared? After all these years? After the way we are together?”
“I already told you.” She glanced back at him, resolute. “I cannot remain married to a man I do not trust. The rest of it…it is not enough.”
“Desire is not enough?” he pressed. “My love for you is not enough?”
“It was not enough three years ago.” Her voice was grim.
He refused to believe she was immovable. “Mayhap we needed those three years, Nellie. Have you ever thought of that? We were young and wild when we married. But that time apart, time to learn who we are, to grow…perhaps it made us stronger. Perhaps it can bring us back together rather than tearing us apart.”
For a long time, she was silent, her hand still beneath his, their fingers laced without her participation. “Did you mean what you said this morning?”
He squeezed her fingers. “I have always meant everything I say to you.”
“That you saw me in your travels,” she elaborated, her bright eyes intent upon him. “That you thought you saw me in Paris.”
Jack gave her a sad smile. “Yes.” Pathetic arse that he was.
“For the first few months you were gone, I kept waiting for you to return. I was convinced you would. I would think I heard your voice in a room. I saw you everywhere. Even in my dreams. But you were never there, Jack.” Tears glittered in her eyes, clinging to her long lashes.
She blinked, fighting them.
Always fighting, his Nellie.
He admired that about her. But he hated it, too. Because she was fightinghim. Fightingthem.
“I am here now,” he said, all the urgency within him trembling in his voice.
She shook her head. “It is not enough.”
Damn her.
Jack clenched his jaw. “Give me a chance, Nellie. You owe me that much.”
He sounded desperate. But he was. He could not lose her. He refused to contemplate it. And yet, as he read the sorrow in her expression, the pain in her eyes, he knew she was a woman on the edge.
“You ask too much,” she whispered. “Let me go, Jack. The time has come.”
“A fortnight,” he tried again. “Give me a fortnight to win you back. If you still feel the same way at the end of that time, I will agree to the divorce.”
The words were crushing. Devastating. Necessary, however. He could not spend the rest of his life trying to win her. His love for her was stronger than his need; if remaining his wife would bring her too much misery, he would have to love her enough to set her free.
Even if losing her was akin to a death knell for him.
“Do you mean it, Jack?” Her gaze plumbed his. “At the end of the fortnight, you will agree to the divorce?”
All the breath felt as if it had been sucked from his lungs. But he nodded. “Yes. If you still want the divorce at the end of the fortnight, I promise it will be yours.”
Nell nodded once, the motion jerky. “One fortnight. No more. And I will not be sharing your bed.”
“Sharing my bed is not a requirement. I can win you in other ways.” He brought her hand to his lips, kissing her fingers. “All I need is for you to lay aside your weapons.”
