“It is difficult for me to speak of her,” he said, the words forced from him. “Difficult, even, for me to be her father. For me to look at her. She reminds me so very much of her mother… It is not her fault, of course. The blame is mine. Verity is but a child.”
It was more than he had intended to divulge. More, even, than he had ever revealed to another.
Rose stilled, her gaze hard upon his, searching. “Verity is her name.”
“Yes.” He released the breath he had not realized he had been holding.
“How old is she?”
“She is but five years old,” he said, once again saying more than he wished.
“She must be lovely,” Rose said, her sad smile once more in place. “I am sure your wife would have been beautiful.”
“Verity is,” he agreed. “And Hattie was.”
“I almost wish you had not told me, that you had not taken me in your arms and let me weep.” Her smile faded.
“Rose,” he began.
“But you did,” she interrupted quickly. “And you cannot take it back. Nor can I. My name is Johanna, Felix. If we are to carry on with whatever this is, I would hear you call me by my true name rather than the name I chose for the stage. You have shared a part of yourself with me, and I am offering this part of myself in return.”
Johanna.
He stared at her, shock filtering through him, even as he supposed it should not. Actresses and actors were well known to assume names for the stage. Her words struck him.I am offering this part of myself in return.
“Johanna,” he found himself repeating, trying the name on his tongue.
He liked it. Johanna suited her far more than Rose. It was lovely and mellifluous, just as her voice.
“Yes.” She frowned then. “Please do not tell anyone else, however. It is imperative that my true name be kept a secret from the public.”
More secrets.
How intriguing. And revealing.
He wondered what else she was hiding. What she was hiding from. Or perhaps,whoshe was hiding from.
“Your secret is safe with me, my dear,” he assured her.
But he knew the stinging blade of shame as the words left him. For he would have to take this information, this admission of hers, and see what else he might uncover. He withdrew from her, acutely aware of the tangled web in which he now found himself.
“Thank you, Felix,” she told him, mustering up another of her melancholy smiles.
“Shall we finish our luncheon?” he suggested.
How he wished she had not called him Felix. And how he wished he did not have to lie to her.
“Of course,” she agreed, flushing. “Forgive me my tears.”
“There is nothing to forgive,” he assured her, the words hollow to his own ears. Because there waseverythingto forgive. And the truth was no longer as concise and clear as it had once seemed.
Chapter Five
The message Johannahad been waiting for had arrived.
A note, seemingly innocent enough, instructing her to arrive at the Royal Aquarium at half past one that afternoon, signed by Mrs. Harriet Wilson. The past, never far from her frantically fleeing heels, had finally come calling. And it had happened just as Drummond had promised her it would.
With a stoic sense of acceptance, Johanna finished her breakfast before sending a note to the Crown and Thorn indicating she would be missing the morning’s rehearsal because of a stomach ailment. Although the aquarium in Westminster was not a far jaunt from the theater, she knew her mind would not be able to concentrate on her lines with the afternoon meeting looming.
