He took her lips with his, the kiss fierce and deep as he dared for a moment to imagine a future for them. It was a kiss that would have gone on much longer if the servants, alarmed after hearing the fatal gunshot, hadn’t chosen that moment to storm into his study. With reluctance, he tore his mouth away, for there was much to be dealt with yet this night and many grim hours looming ahead.
he sun was rising over London,painting the sky with fingers of brilliant yellow and bold orange, by the time Clara tied the robe on her dressing gown and slipped into Julian’s chamber. A flurry of activity had descended upon the household in the moments after the gunshot rang out. The authorities had been called, statements taken. Word had been sent to the Whitney residence that all was well and that Lord and Lady Ravenscroft were safe at last, merely in need of some rest.
It was finally over. Relief and shock still pulsated through her, leaving her mind as thick as London fog. But there was one thing she knew: she and Julian had been given a second chance, and she meant to take it.
He stood with his back to her, his tall, lean form clad in only a dressing gown as well, his feet bare. He had the curtains pulled back, and he was still as a marble statue, surveying the street below.
Her hands shook as she crossed the room to him so she folded them together at her waist. She had killed a man tonight, and though she would make the same choice again in a heartbeat, she regretted the necessity. If only there had been another way.
She hadn’t wanted to do it. Though she was a crack shot and always had been, she’d never had need of that particular skill until tonight. But greed and jealousy had turned Julian’s brother into a madman, and he wouldn’t have stopped until he’d killed them both.
She stopped a few feet from her husband, feeling hesitant despite his earlier words of love. He seemed to be unaware of her approach. Had he been in shock when he’d told her he loved her? Did he regret it now? Dear God, she hoped not.
“Julian,” she said quietly.
He turned away from the grim vigil he’d been keeping, his beautiful face hard and tense. As his gaze settled on hers, he softened, holding his arms open to her. “My love.”
She didn’t hesitate. In another breath, she launched herself into his chest. He caught her to him, holding her tight. Her breasts crushed against him, and without the barrier of her everyday layers, each inch of his hard maleness was a delicious, reassuring thing. She held him with a matching fervor, desperate to be as close to him as she possibly could after coming so close to losing him for the second time. He pressed a kiss into her unbound curls.
“Thank God you weren’t hurt.” His voice was a low, deep rumble. Beloved. “I could hold you forever and it wouldn’t be long enough.”
She listened for a moment to the steady, reassuring thud of his heart beneath her ear before speaking. “I’m so sorry, Julian.”
“It is I who should be apologizing to you, for bringing you into this mess. What can you be sorry for, darling?” He withdrew a bit to look down at her, his vibrant eyes probing.
Clara hesitated, her mind grappling with what she had done. “Your brother. I’m so sorry…I didn’t want to do what I did.”
“Jesus, Clara.” He cupped her face. “You saved my bloody life. You savedourlives. Edward was unhinged. He tried to kill each of us on two separate occasions, and tonight he would have succeeded if it weren’t for your bravery. Never be sorry for that. Christ knows I won’t.”
She searched his expression, feeling the guilt that had been festering inside her in the hours since she’d shot Edward begin to dissipate. “But he was your brother. And I…I killed a man, Julian.”
“You were fearless,” he said gently, rubbing his thumb over the fullness of her bottom lip. “My own plucky Virginia girl. You mustn’t let this weigh on your heart. If I’d had a pistol, I would have shot him myself. He was mad, and was bent on murder. You did the only thing you could have done.”
She believed him, and the last of the guilt lifted from her. “I couldn’t bear for anything to happen to you. I would do it again.”
“Ah, my love.” He crushed her mouth beneath his on a groan, his lips taking hers in a fierce, claiming kiss. “I don’t deserve your goodness or your daring. I don’t deserve a single, goddamn thing about you. I don’t deserveyou, little dove.”
“Don’t say that.” Reverently, she traced the contours of his face. The slash of his jaw, the hollows of his cheeks, the high, proud bones above it. She absorbed the prickle of his whiskers, the comforting heat of him, the sensual curve of his lips. “Don’t ever say such nonsense again. I’ll not hear of it.”
“It must be said.” His voice was harsh, steeped in self-deprecation. “Everything I told you about myself was true, Clara. Everything you’ve heard about me, I’ve no doubt, is true and then some. I’m not a good man. I’ve done things in my life that I deeply regret. As my wife, scandal will always follow you. Some doors will never be opened to you because of me. My past will always dog me.”
“Hush,” she cried out, her heart hurting for him, for the complete vulnerability he revealed to her. “I don’t care about your past.”
“But you should, Clara.” He tone was passionless, relentless. “I’m giving you this chance now to leave me. I damn well should have given it to you before, but I wanted you too much. From the moment you stepped into my study in that godforsaken hat, I knew I’d do anything to have you. You were beautiful and innocent, so much the opposite of every woman I’d ever known, and I couldn’t bear the thought of any other man having you. I told your father I’d ruined you. I bargained for your dowry. I never intended for you to leave for Virginia.”
“Julian,” she tried to interrupt, wanting to tell him that none of it mattered. That she loved him. That she too would do anything to have him.
But he wasn’t finished. “No, you need to hear this. You need to listen and make your own choice. I tried to take your choice from you once, and I won’t do it again. I love and respect you far too much for that. If I’d been the kind of man who is worthy of you, I’d have sent you on your way that day in my study without touching you. I wouldn’t have dragged you into my sordid world, wouldn’t have put you in danger. But I did, and now we’re both paying for it. So for Christ’s sake, Clara, listen to me when I tell you again thatI am no good for you. You should leave me. I won’t keep you from Virginia. I won’t keep your dowry. Say the words now, and I’ll let you walk out that door and on to the life you long for.”
She swallowed against the emotion brimming within her, framing his beloved face in her hands. “This is the life I long for, with you. I love you. I love you more than I ever imagined possible. You are the only man for me.”
“Clara, think this through. I’ll not stand in your way. I’m offering you what you’ve always wanted, the very objective that led you to my study that first night.” He paused, his countenance equal parts harsh and forbidding. “You can return to Virginia, free and unencumbered, with all your dowry at your disposal. I’ll not keep a ha’penny.”
“I’ve already thought it through, Julian.” She beamed up at him, happiness swelling within her like a hot air balloon, displacing all the tumult of the night. He loved her so much that he would set her free. Her strong, sensual, beautiful man. So many people had wronged him. She would not be yet another. “As I already told you, my home is with you. My place is at your side. Do you love me?”
“Hell yes I love you,” he all but growled. “Never doubt that. I love you so much that I can barely think straight.”
“Then that is all the answer you need.” She kissed him then, taking his mouth with hers for a change, sliding her tongue inside to invade and claim the same way he’d done to her. “I’m not going anywhere.”
