Her breath tore from her in fast gasps, mewling cries of passion caught in her throat. Surely, she managed to think through the murk of her wanton mind, this was heaven on earth. Nothing could ever again feel so incredible. She felt as if she were about to burst.
And then she did, shaking against him, her eyes closed tightly to savor the amazing sensations rocketing through her. There were no words for it, save—
“Pure bliss,” she murmured, aware that he’d addled her so much with his lovemaking that she was becoming nonsensical, speaking her private thoughts aloud.
“I agree.” Her husband kissed the inner curve of her breast, then raked his teeth delicately over her nipple once more. His finger traveled lower, sinking inside her.
Her breath escaped from her lungs. She wanted—no needed—to feel him inside her. She ached with wanting more. In and out, his finger pushed, delving inside her so deeply that she feared she’d burst again.
“Are you ready for me?”
She nodded, eyes still closed.
“Look at me, Victoria.”
Startled by his use of her name, she obeyed, blinking to find his handsome face still perilously near to her bare breasts. Her nipples were pink, glistening with the wetness of his kiss. She glanced lower, to where his hand pressed between her thighs. Embarrassment hit her. Her skirts had obscured her view of him pleasuring her in the music room. This was different. All too wanton. She turned her head away, staring instead at the drawn drapes over her window.
It was the window where she’d held a constant vigil in the early days of her abandonment, hoping to see him return. She’d never told anyone, not even Maggie in one of the many rambling letters she’d sent, bemoaning her loneliness.
Suddenly, it all seemed too much, the mingle of pleasure he’d given her with the awful hurt. She stiffened, uncertainty reeling her in. But the passion remained, soothing her traitorous body into wanting him, regardless of the past. Confusing her.
“Don’t pull away from me.” His tone was firm, allowing no opposition. “Let me bring you pleasure. Let me make you spend.”
It didn’t escape her notice that he spoke of pleasure and not of love. Had she expected him to fall at her feet like a lovelorn suitor? The same man who had coldly told her he had no need or want of a wife? Perhaps her heart was too fragile to allow him this breathtaking intimacy.
He nudged her legs apart and came over her completely, his manhood resting heavily against her, his knees at either side of her hips. She didn’t want to see him, for if she did, she would give in. She laid very still, eyes fixed on the drapes.
“Look at me,” he insisted again. “Damn it, Victoria. I’ll not force my own wife.”
It wouldn’t require force, and she knew it. There was a note of frustration in his voice, perhaps even hurt. He didn’t understand her, it seemed, any more than she understood him. Or herself, for that matter. Her resolve wavered. His body was a welcome weight upon hers, and she wanted him to finish what they’d begun. She turned back to him, afraid that she truly did love him after all.
It was a crippling realization.
His stare skewered her, hot and laden with possibilities. “Do you want me or not, sweet?” As he posed the question, he once again teased her pearl, applying just the right amount of pressure to send more pleasure washing over her.
“If you swear to stay,” she blurted. She was very much aware that asking something so monumental of him at a time such as this was unfair. She also knew that, by law, she had absolutely no right to make any demands upon him whatsoever, wife or no. Even if he agreed now, he could rescind his promise later should it suit him. She was allowing him to see past her brazen façade, and she wasn’t sure she ought to.
He stilled, stopping the ministrations that made her wild. “Pardon?”
Had he not heard her or did he simply want to humiliate her by requiring her to repeat her request? She faltered, caught in his gaze, not knowing what to do. Finally, she decided to stay the course. “Will you stay here with me? And if you must leave, will you take me with you?”
Will stared, his expression as impenetrable as his eyes. “Is that what you want of me?”
His hand was still between her thighs. Her heart beat fast. “Of course.” It was, wasn’t it? Yes, it had to be. The last few days had done much damage to her defenses, and she didn’t think she could survive yet another abandonment unscathed. She could control so many things in her life, but not truly the things she most wanted to manage. She could not help her feelings for him. Burying them, holding on to her anger, had not changed them. He had stripped her bare this night, and she’d never been more vulnerable.
“I shall do my best by you,” he said, a note of almost harsh honesty entering his tone. “I vow it.”
You mustn’t think too much.Only feel.
She wasn’t certain she could. Her mind spun faster than the wheels on a runaway carriage. He hadn’t given her the promise she wanted. What in heaven’s name was his best? Dare she trust him enough to discover?
“I shall try not to hurt you again, Victoria,” he added, his voice softening. “If I leave, you are welcome to accompany me.”
She supposed it had to be concession enough, particularly coming from him. He hovered over her, so very large and beautiful. The time for speaking was over. Victoria reached out to him, pulling him more fully atop her.
He came down over her, his mouth crushing hers in another kiss. Her breasts were pressed firmly against him. His manhood was stiff and thick, prodding her. He toyed with her sex, rubbing his cock against the slick flesh, flicking over the tender nub hidden there.
She opened her legs, allowing him to guide her so that she wrapped her legs round his waist. Then he pressed his arousal against her. Instinctively, she jerked up and into him, wanting to feel him inside her. He entered her slowly at first, just the tip dipping into her. No pain this time. Only pleasure. A searing, bone-deep pleasure.
