“Nothing,” Sheila answered after a flustered moment.
“Oh, really?” The younger woman drew the word out. “Then what’s this reaction about?” She waved her hand in Sheila’s direction.
Sheila’s cheeks burned as if she laid out in the sun too long without sunscreen.
“Hot date?” Jessica asked after Sheila remained frozen.
“Um, no?”
Jessica leveled a sardonic look at her.
“Really? Tell me to mind my own business, that’s fine. I don’t like being lied to, though. Honestly, I’d prefer if you told me to fuck off than lie to me.”
Sheila was conflicted. Jessica was the co-worker she was closest to even though they rarely saw each other outside the library.
But no one at work could ever find out about her extracurricular activities. Especially the ones at the library.
She was a librarian, for God’s sake. Yes, her personal life was her own, but it definitely wouldn’t stand up to librarian scrutiny.
“Er, yes, I had dinner plans. But it wasn’t a date.”
“Anyone I know?” Jessica joked, visibly relaxing now that they were back on their usual footing.
Sheila shrugged as she struggled with how to respond.
“I’m just teasing,” Jessica said, letting her off the hook. “As long as it’s not that asshole you dated before.”
“Richard?”
“Yeah, that’s it. I guess he’s more of a dick than an asshole.” Jessica snorted.
Sheila murmured under her breath. “No, he didn’t have enough dick for that.”
Jessica gaped at her before she broke into a loud guffaw.
“Holy shit, girl, that was hilarious,” she replied between gasps. “I’ve never heard you say anything negative about him before. Even though he always talked down to you, like he was so much better. Yet he’d get clingy if another guy tried to talk to you, even Pete just saying ‘hi’ to everybody.”
“Huh, I guess he did. I didn’t pay that much attention. As he pointed out often, I’m not a very good girlfriend.”
“You’ve changed,” Jessica said after she studied Sheila for a moment. “You seem more… I don’t know. More confident. You’ve always been good at your job, but you seem different.”
“Thank you. I’ve been trying to get out more. I’m self-assured at work because I know what I’m doing. Outside of this space, though, that’s when things are hard for me. It’s stressful at times, but I’m trying.”
“That’s awesome. Why don’t we ever hang out? Don’t you like me?”
Sheila looked at her, dumbfounded by the direction of the conversation. She and Jessica had talked more frequently over the last few months, but she didn’t expect more than that. Sheila went with the office out for drinks a handful of times, but it was still effort to relax and turn off her brain.
Experience taught her that awkward nerds with little non-work conversation and fewer social graces weren’t typically in high demand. It hadn’t occurred to her Jessica wanted to be actual friends with her outside of work.
“Of course you like me; I’m very likable,” Jessica answered her own question with a confidence Sheila envied. “And you’re smart, funny, and interesting. But you didn’t answer my question. Why haven’t we hung out away from work?”
“Um, I don’t know. I didn’t realize you wanted to.”
Jessica clapped her hands and beamed. “That’s settled then. We’re going out together when you return from the conference.”
“I’ll be too tired this weekend,” she said cautiously.
Jessica’s mouth pursed, and Sheila almost relented. But after days of being around tons of people, going out in public would be too much for her.
