“Well, hello there, Mr. Washington.” He puts way too much emphasis on the Mr.
“You might be happy to know that you have walked in on a very interesting conversation indeed.”
Elijah looks to me for help or possibly an escape plan, but I just give him a weak smile and turn back to my ex-friends, giving them a subtle head shake to signal my displeasure at what I know they’re obviously dying to share with this man. Marshall closes his eyes again and nods emphatically. They’re definitely going to tell him. I drop my face into my arms on the bar.
“You see, Mr. Washington, our V Dub here has made some really shit choices in men. In all people, really.”
“Except us.” Jax cuts in.
“Yes. Except us, of course.” Marshall confirms. “So.” Marshall clears his throat for dramatic effect, and I swear I’m about to try out that neck chopping thing right now.
“Vaughny here came to us, her most trusted advisors.” Jax elbows Marshall and gives him a dramatic wink of approval for the trusted advisors comment. Marshall continues. “Only moments ago, she asked us to be her proxies. Do you know what a proxy is, Mr. Washington?” Marshall’s voice has become increasingly more British as he drones on.
Elijah’s face twists in apparent offense. “Yeah. I know what a proxy is.” He seems appropriately insulted by the question.
“Of course you do.” British Marshall tells him. “So, as proxies for Miss Webb.” Now I’m Miss Webb. We are Mr. Washington and Miss Webb in this mucked up interrogation or informational seminar. It’s difficult to ascertain which it is at this point. He continues without breaking stride with a not at all believable British accent. “We are now tasked with vetting the individuals or persons that Miss Webb spends her time with. She cannot spend time with anyone who has not been approved by us, the proxies, and she must spend time with whomever we deem fit.”
“Whoa. What? That wasn’t part of the agreement.”
Jax pats the top of my head in a ‘simmer down there’ gesture and says, “Now just you wait one minute, Miss Webb. You will get the opportunity to speak, but you must practice decorum.”
Elijah places both hands flat on the bar and says, “Listen, none of this has anything to do with me. I just really need to get my license, and I’ll get out of your hair so you can work out this proxy thing in private.”
“Well, you see there, Mr. Washington, that’s where you are quite wrong. My assistant here-” Marshall is cut off mid-sentence when Jax jumps in, breaking character.
“The fuck? I’m not the assistant. I’m Holmes. You’re the assistant, Watson.”
“In what world am I the assistant? You’re the obvious Watson, Watson.”
They continue to bicker back and forth, so I take this opportunity to turn to Elijah and apologize. “Listen, I am really sorry, okay? Not just about this. I’m sorry about everything. I don’t tell anyone my real name. You already know why. I was going to tell you, though. I really was. It’s just that, by the time we got to my apartment, where we could have a conversation, you were high. Like Rick James high.”
Elijah scoffs. “I was not Rick James high.”
“Uhh, do you remember anything after we entered my apartment?”
He pauses for a moment. “Well, no, but I know I wasn’t Rick James high. Rick James did coke. You roofied me.”
“I did not roof-” I stop myself before I get pulled into another argument with yet another illogical male. “Fine. You weren’t Rick James high. Maybe you were Snoop Dogg high.”
“Yeah. Definitely Snoop Dogg high.”
“Okay then. My point is that you were high. I knew you wouldn’t remember anything I said, and telling you my real name wouldn’t have meant anything. I came clean as soon as you woke up, and I tried to tell you my name, but you insisted on not hearing it, and you left.”
Elijah looks like a scolded child as he looks down at the floor and massages the nape of his neck. “Yeah. I guess that all makes sense. I don’t know. Maybe it was just a bit of a shock to wake up and not remember a big chunk of the night, and then find out I didn’t even know the real name of the person whose home I slept in.”
“Understandable. So, can we start over?”
Elijah nods slowly. “Yeah.” He holds his hand out to me, and I take it. “Elijah Washington, Nice to meet you.”
I shake his hand and introduce myself. “Likewise, Elijah. I’m Vaughn Webb.”
A phone is ringing. Eli slips his hand into his back pocket, silencing the phone without checking to see who’s calling.
Feeling eyes on me, I realize that the detectives have stopped bickering some time ago. We both turn to look at them. They’re wearing twin heart eyes, and they have their chins resting on one another’s hands.It’s weird as hell.Marshall has his elbows on the bar in front of Jax. His fingers are overlapping, and Jax’s chin is resting on them. Jax is in this exact same position, and Marshall’s chin is resting on his fingers.It’s absolute madness. They definitely have a mind link.
“Why are you looking at us like that?” I ask both googly eyed men.
Again, the detectives look at one another and have a silent conversation. They apparently agree that Jax will field this one. “Well, Miss Webb. The moment you appointed us your lifetime, unexchangeable, non-take backable proxies, we decided that you would be dating Mr. Washington here. And then, who walked through the door but none other than the man himself, only moments later? Now, I don’t believe in signs, except yes, I do and this is definitely a sign.”
