Caroline's frown deepens, but she doesn't say anything, so I keep going.
"So, I asked one of the girls in our class to go out with me. Totally fake — just so people would see us together and get off my back. In exchange, she got the social boost of being seen with the school's golden boy." My mouth quirks, humorless.
"Win-win, right? Word got around we were hooking up, which made her even more popular. And... yeah, a few more girls wanted the same deal. Before I knew it, boom — Zach Westbrook, ladies' man."
I shake my head, a low, humorless sound slipping out. "Yeah, I know how it sounds now — lame, stupid. But back then? High school was a freaking shark tank. You either kept your image intact, or you gave people something to tear apart. And if you were the guy in the hockey team — the guy everyone was watching — you didn't get to screw up quietly. Every little thing became gossip, and once it stuck, it was game over."
I shrug, but there's a tightness in my chest just remembering it. "So yeah, I played along. Built a reputation I didn't even want, because it was easier than dealing with the rumors and the whispers. It felt like survival at the time. Control the story, or let it control you."
God, hearing myself say this out loud makes me feel like I'm seventeen again — all panic and hormones and ego — scrambling to look like I had it all figured out when really, I was just a scared kid trying not to drown.
Silence stretches between us, thick enough to choke on. She doesn't say anything right away, and I can see it — the way her jaw shifts, her brows pulling in like she's chewing on what I just said.
Finally, she speaks, quiet but cutting through the air. "And when you got here? Was it the same thing?"
I let out a low chuckle, rubbing the back of my neck. "Yeah. Same arrangement..."
"And they don't care that you don't feel anything for them?"
"They care about the image more than being with me."
Her head tilts, curious, but I catch the way her teeth catch her lower lip before she speaks again.
"And what about Taylor?" she asks, voice just barely above a whisper. "Is that... the same too? I mean, people talk, Zach. I've heard you two have been... seeing each other for months." Her eyes flick to mine, wary. "Or is it more than that? You two look... really good together."
For a second, I almost laugh — not because it's funny, but becauseof courseshe'd think that.
"Caroline," I say softly, letting her name sit there between us. "Me and Taylor? It's not what you think. I promise."
Her brows pull together, confused, and I shake my head, shoving a hand through my hair.
"Taylor and I have a deal," I explain. "We pretend we're hooking up — exclusive, whatever — just to make life easier. For both of us."
Caroline blinks, like she didn't expect that answer.
"Look, the puck bunnies here?" I let out a humorless laugh. "They're relentless. And Taylor's ex is... a nightmare. Guy's been stalking her, showing up to parties, trying to start shit. So, we came up with this arrangement. If she's'with me,'the guy backs off. And if I'm'with her,'all the girls who keep trying to... you know—" I make a vague gesture, "—throw themselves at me, chill out."
I shrug, meeting her eyes again, willing her to see the truth.
"That's all it is. It's fake. We hang out sometimes to keep up appearances, but there's nothing there. No feelings. Nothing. We really are just friends."
For a moment, she just looks at me, still and quiet.
"Doesn't that get... exhausting?"
I huff out a humorless laugh and nod. "Completely draining. But it kept the girls out of my life. It kept me sane."
She studies me for a beat, and I can feel the question coming before it leaves her lips.
"Then why not just date Taylor for real? Or find someone to actually be with — instead of going through all this trouble?"
I drag in a deep breath, eyes sliding away from hers then back. "How could I think about dating Taylor — or anyone else — when the only girl I wanted was you?"
Her gasp is sharp, tiny, but I hear it. I feel it.
Her lips part, soft and tempting, and all I can think about is how badly I want to kiss them, to drink in that sound like I've been dying of thirst.
She looks away, but I don't let her.
