"Unfortunately, yes."I scramble to collect the rest of my clothes, cheeks burning."I can explain."
"I'm listening."
I look up at him from my position on the floor, surrounded by my scattered wardrobe and serenaded by a baby goat who's now investigating his laptop bag.
"Well," I say, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear."It all started when the shower tried to murder me."
3
GETTING HIS GOAT
LUKE
The rain continues to slash against the inn's windows as I stand in the lobby at twelve-fifteen AM, holding a pair of Wonder Woman underwear and trying to process what just happened to my ‘perfectly planned’ investigation.
This is not the catfishing, balding loser with too much time and CPU on his hands that I expected.
Instead, I find theactualSage Winters, bumbling inn owner and confused woman.Standing in polka-dot pajamas while a baby goat digging its furry head into my laptop bag.
"The shower tried to murder you," I repeat slowly, blinking at five-foot-four inches of green-eyed mystery.
"Metaphorically speaking."She picks up a pile of underwear that has tacos on it."The shower-head fell off.There was flooding.Buttercup and I were relocating to avoid the carnage."
"Buttercup."
"The goat."She gestures toward the small white animal currently attempting to unzip my bag."She's here for tomorrow's goat yoga class.Early arrival due to family emergency with the instructor."
I blink."Goat yoga."
"It's a thing.Very Instagram-worthy.Or it will be, assuming Buttercup stops eating everything."She straightens up, her arms full of retrieved clothing, and I realize I'm still holding her underwear.
"These are..."
"Mine, yes.You can just..."She reaches for them, her fingers brushing mine, and for a moment we're both holding onto Wonder Woman’s bionic boobs.
"Right."I release them, and she adds them to her bundle, lips souring into a pucker.
"So," she says, tucking a strand of auburn hair behind her ear."You're Luke Sterling."
"You know who I am?"
"Well, yes.We're matched on SecureMatch."She says this like it's the most obvious thing in the world.“I tried to set up a date but you never?—“
BAAAHH!!
I glance over, wondering how such a big noise can come from such a little animal.Turns out Buttercup has a taste for charging cables.
The four-legged runt’s managed to make her way into my bag, after all, chewing on the tube like it’s curds.
Sage lunges for the goat, but Buttercup is apparently quicker than she looks.
“Buttercup!No!Put that down!”
The small animal bounds away from the bag, trailing my power cord like some kind of technological streamer, and heads directly for the fireplace.
"Shit, shit, shit," Sage mutters, dropping her clothes again in pursuit."Buttercup, that's a three-hundred-dollar cable!"
I look down at my laptop bag, then at the chaos unfolding near the fireplace, and make a decision that probably violates several cybersecurity protocols.
