"I can't keep a goat."
"Why not?You clearly have a connection."
I look down at Buttercup, who's now trying to untie my shoelaces."Because I ruin everything I care about."
"What?"
"Nothing.Just...I can't.You should take her back."
"If you're sure..."
"I'm sure."I'm not sure.I'm not sure about anything anymore.But keeping Buttercup would be selfish, and I've been selfish enough.
The photographer from the Record snaps pictures throughout, occasionally asking for "more dynamic goat interaction," which mostly results in Chakra trying to eat her hair.
"This is wonderful!"she gushes as the session winds down."Exactly the kind of local color piece our readers love.'From City Stress to Rural Rest: How One Inn Is Revolutionizing Wellness.'"
"That's...a title," I manage.
"Could you maybe look a bit happier?You're grimacing."
"This is my happy face."
"Oh."She lowers her camera."Maybe we'll focus on the goats."
The session ends with surprising success.
No injuries, only minor property damage, and the participants seem genuinely pleased.
They're all chattering about booking rooms for a "wellness weekend," and I should be thrilled.
I'm dead inside.
"Same time next week?"Melody asks, herding her goats toward the trailer.All except Buttercup, who's planted herself at my feet like a stubborn cloud.
"Sure.Next week."I look down at Buttercup."Go on.Time to go home."
She bleats and presses closer to my leg.
"Buttercup, come!"Melody calls."I have treats!"
Buttercup doesn't even look at her.
"She doesn't want to leave," one of the participants says."How sweet!"
"It's not sweet," I mutter, kneeling down to Buttercup's level."Hey.You have to go.This isn't your home."
She butts her head against my chest, and suddenly I'm crying.
In front of eight strangers, a photographer, and four goats, I'm sobbing like my heart is breaking.
Which it is.
Has been.
Eighteen days.
"Oh honey," someone says, and then there are hands on my shoulders, tissues appearing from nowhere, the kind of impromptu support group that only happens when women see another woman ugly-crying.
