My breathing is too fast now, too shallow. My chest is tight, aching, screaming.
“Jesus, Eden,” he snaps suddenly, voice cracking, “you're acting like I—like I justhurtyou!”
The words slice straight through me. I flee, rushing into the bathroom and slamming the door shut, twisting the lock with shaking fingers. My back hits the wood, and I slide down until my backside hits the floor. Silent sobs tear up my throat as I clamp a hand over my mouth. My whole body trembles uncontrollably. The room spins. I lie down on the cold tiles, cheek pressed to the floor, trying to breathe. Trying to focus. Trying to be here, now, in this room, not back there, not in that darkness.
But the panic won’t stop.
And neither will the memories.
KADE
I down the whisky in one go. It’s a double, and it burns all the way down, settling like fire in my stomach. Good. Maybe the pain will drown out the other kind tearing through me.
“I need a favour,” I say, staring straight ahead at the bottles behind the bar because if I look at Jimmy’s smug face, I’ll lose my nerve.
“Depends,” he drawls, amused already.
I drag a hand down my jaw, feeling every hour of the last few days sitting under my skin. Coming here was my last option, and I hate that it’s come to this. I don’t run in these circles anymore. I don’t want his help. But I can’t get through to Eden, and I can’t fix what I don’t understand. I’m out of my mind with worry.
“I’ll agree to the extra drops,” I mutter.
His grin spreads slow and wide. He’s enjoying this far too much. “I thought you were against heroin.”
I say nothing as the barman tops up my glass. Another double. The whole bar reeks of deals and danger. It’s the kind of place where you can find a man for any job, clean or dirty, for the right price. Exactly the place I swore I’d stay away from.
But Eden’s slipping through my fingers, and I’m desperate.
“Can you help me or not?” I snap.
Jimmy lifts a brow, pretending to think. “Of course. What is it you need?”
I exhale hard. This feels wrong. Itiswrong. But so is watching the woman I love fall apart and not knowing why.
“Someone to follow Eden,” I say. “She’s not acting right. She won’t let me in. Something’s going on, and I need to know what.”
Jimmy’s smirk twists. “You think she’s got someone else?”
My jaw flexes. I swallow the anger with the whisky. “Let’s hope not,” I mutter darkly. “For his sake.”
Jimmy chuckles, leaning back in his seat like this is entertainment. “Okay. Consider it done.”
“She can’t know,” I warn.
He laughs outright. “What do you take me for? I know a guy. She’ll never know she’s being watched.” The idea of it turns my stomach, but not knowing is worse. “Are you ready,” he asks, eyes glinting, “in case it’s bad news?”
I nod, draining the glass until it’s empty. “I want to know everything.”
EDEN
A few days have passed since the night everything fell apart with Kade. He’s been sleeping in his office ever since, keeping his distance, avoiding my eyes, avoiding my presence, and I can’t blame him. He doesn’t understand what happened, and I won’t explain.I can’t.But the gap between us just keeps widening.
Only Martha and Fern know the truth. And judging by Fern’s determined expression as she walks into my portacabin, she’s here to push it again.
She holds out a pre-packed sandwich. “You’ve lost so much weight. Eat,” she orders, pressing it into my hands.
The club has a yard a few streets over, and my tiny portacabin office sits right in the middle of it. I used to love this place, the quiet buzz of the business, the organised chaos of deliveries and jobs. Now it just feels like a hiding spot.
I open the chicken salad sandwich and take a tiny bite. It tastes of nothing. I’ve dropped a stone in a matter of weeks. Too much for someone who barely had weight to lose.
