That tiny pill in her palm—the one that might erase everything me and Kade have been praying for—just to make sure I don’t carry a stranger’s child.
I fold in on myself, sobbing harder. I can’t breathe around the ache in my chest.
“You need to tell him,” Martha whispers, her voice tight with fear and anger but also love. I shake my head violently. “He knows something’s wrong,” she insists. “You heard him, Eden. He thinks you’ve cheated.”
“I have,” I whisper.
Martha jerks back so fast I’m forced to look at her. Her eyes are wide and horrified. “Eden,” she breathes, cupping my face. “No. You didnotcheat. Don’t you dare say that about yourself.”
“It feels like it,” I choke. “It feels like it because—because—” My voice collapses. “I had sex with another man.”
Martha’s face breaks. Her brows knot. Her lips tremble. “You didn’t choose this,” she says fiercely. “You didn’t want this. You didn’t invite it. You didn’t give permission. That is not sex, Eden. And it is not cheating.”
I look away, shame burning through me, hot and blinding. “But it happened,” I whisper, the words shaking. “And Kade will see it as betrayal. I know him. I know how his mind works. He’ll think what I thought—that I left the club and… and did something stupid. I was irresponsible.”
Martha pulls me into her arms again, holding me like she can shield me from the world. “He won’t,” she whispers. “Not when he knows the truth. Not when he knows what really happened.”
“Kade will want answers.” My voice cracks on the last word. “Until my memory comes back, I can’t give him any. I can’t tell him what I don’t remember, or what I only half remember.” I rub at my face, but the tears keep spilling anyway. “I’ll tell him when I can make sense of it,” I whisper. “When I can put everything in the right order in my own head. Because right now?” I shake my head, helpless. “Everything is jumbled and messy, and terrifying. I don’t know which memories are real, and which ones my brain is filling in to protect me.”
Martha squeezes my hand, but it does nothing to stop the trembling.
“I want to tell him,” I admit, the words barely holding together. “God, I want to tell him, but how do I explain something I can’t even explain to myself yet?” My breath stutters. “How do I say it out loud when I still don’t understand how it happened, or why I can’t remember, or why I feel like I’m going to drown every time I try to think about it?”
KADE
“Pres, you should go to bed,” Jet says gently.
I twist a strand of her dark hair around my finger, drunk and aching, and give her a sloppy smile. “She cheated,” I slur.
Jet’s expression softens. “She didn’t cheat, Pres. Eden loves you.”
I scoff, shaking my head. “You’re a club whore, Jet. You shouldn’t be lecturing me like I’m some good little boy.”
“I’m lecturing you because you’re hurting, and you’ll hate yourself in the morning if you do shit you wouldn’t normally do. Go to bed.”
“She’s right, Pres,” Smoke says, thumping my back. “We’re looking out for you.” He hooks my arm over his shoulder and hauls me upright. “We love Eden too. Don’t fuck it up while you’ve got Jack Daniels for a brain.”
“Shecheated!” I snap, the word tearing out of me like it’s been clawing at my insides all night.
Smoke huffs. “She did no such thing, and you know it. We’ve all been drunk and woken up somewhere we can’t explain. Once I slept with my feet in a pond. Some old lady woke me up with a cuppa and a towel.”
I grunt, rubbing my face. “She’s never done this before.”
“No, but birthdays do crazy shit to us, we drink more, take more risks,” he mutters as we climb the stairs. “But don’t go inventing shit in your head.”
He pushes my bedroom door open, the room’s empty. Panic punches through my chest. I shove past him, roaring her name. “Eden!”
Smoke grabs my shoulder. “Relax, Pres. I’ll go find her.”
But she’s already there, rushing from the hallway, eyes blazing when she sees me.
“He panicked,” Smoke explains, stepping aside.
“I’m in with Martha,” Eden snaps. “I’m not sleeping with you when you don’t trust me.”
“Ican’ttrust you when I know you’re keeping secrets!” I yell, angry at everything and nothing.
Her voice is cold when she says, “Then we have a problem.” She turns and walks away, shutting me out with every step.
