Concern gives way to something else—hope, maybe, or anticipation. "You're not going to tell me you're secretly married, are you?"
I laugh despite myself. "No. Nothing like that."
"Running away to join the circus?"
"RJ."
"Taking up professional alligator wrestling?"
"You're ridiculous."
"I'm trying to make you smile." He cups my face in his hands, his gray eyes soft. "Whatever it is, Dalla, you can tell me. I'm not going anywhere."
"I know. That's why I want to do it right." I cover his hands with mine. "Tonight. I promise. Just... be patient with me?"
He studies me for another long moment, then nods slowly. "Tonight. Whatever you need."
I kiss him then—soft and slow, trying to pour everything I can't say into it. The secret growing inside me.
The fear and the joy and the overwhelming love that makes my chest ache.
He kisses me back, his hand coming up to tangle in my hair, and for a moment the world shrinks down to just this.
Just us.
Just the warmth of his mouth and the steady beat of his heart.
When we break apart, he's smiling.
It transforms his whole face, makes him look younger and lighter and so painfully beautiful that I want to memorize this moment.
Want to hold onto it forever.
"I love you," he says.
"I love you too." I press my forehead to his. "More than you know."
More than he could possibly imagine.
Because it's not just me anymore.
It's us—all three of us, even if he doesn't know it yet.
The morning passes slowly.
I try to work on follow-up notes for Greer—she loved the collection, wants to discuss next steps, mentioned something about a possible runway show in the summer—but I can't focus.
My mind keeps drifting to the pregnancy test hidden in my bag, to the conversation I'm going to have tonight, to the million ways this could go right or wrong.
RJ comes and goes throughout the morning, checking on patrols, meeting with my father, coordinating security.
Every time he leaves, I find myself staring at the door, practicing what I'm going to say.
RJ, I have something to tell you.
So, funny story...
Remember how we haven't been using protection?
