The ache inside me grew brittle. Lucas wasn’t unfeeling, but even he hadn’t comprehended how badly it would hurt me that he’d left his morning without explanation.
No one ever saw me as breakable.
‘What did he say?’ I whispered.
Louisa pushed open the gate with more force than necessary. ‘Not much. He didn’t disagree when I told him he needed to move out.’
‘Right.’
Hope was impossible to destroy entirely, but it retreated to the furthest reaches of my heart.
Lucas hadn’t fought for me. If I needed more evidence that he didn’t feel what I so desperately wanted him to, then there it was. If he cared like I did, he wouldn’t go along with moving out.
Louisa hissed like when Kat decided a bookshop customer had come too close. My head snapped around to where she was glaring at the corner of Bonnie and Joshua’s front garden.
Lucas stood beside the fence, his eyes wide and heart pounding far faster than a walk from the loch justified.
He was in the same clothes he’d arrived home in yesterday. Grass stained jumper and jeans. It felt as though if I wished hard enough, I could erase all that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. Pretend I hadn’t believed sweet lies and gotten hurt for the very last time.
I laid a hand on Louisa’s arm. ‘I’m going to chat to Lucas for a minute. Alone. But we’ll be right behind you.’
Louisa eyed Lucas as he slowly walked towards us. ‘Don’t let him be an arsehole to you.’
She marched into Bonnie and Joshua’s cottage. The sound of our Alpha sarcastically congratulating her on finally arriving was drowned out by the rush of blood in my ears.
‘I didn’t mean to be an arsehole,’ Lucas murmured, stopping a distance away that confirmed he was no longer interested in touching me. My skin felt raw with phantom echoes of touch that wouldn’t be repeated. ‘I never want to hurt you.’
I held up a hand before he could go on. Lucas was nicer than everyone else who’d rejected me, but it amounted to the sameresult. I would be alone. He would find someone he actually wanted to be with while I tried not to burn alive with jealousy.
‘I’d appreciate it if you don’t make this any harder than it has to be.’ I took pride in the strength of each word. ‘Louisa told you it would be for the best if you move out. I think we’ll make a much better go of being friends if we’re not in each other’s space all the time. Don’t you agree?’
The last three words tripped out of my mouth involuntarily. Heat rushed to my cheeks. I now understood how embarrassing Lucas found it when his mouth worked quicker than his brain. Because my brain knew that asking that question was a set up for more heartache.
Lucas was, for once, without words. The casual compliments he threw my way were probably at an end as well. I’d have to learn to live without them. I’d done it before he arrived, so I could do it again.
I already felt their absence.
He hadn’t formulated a reply by the time Callum’s quadbike roared over the brow of the final hill down to the village. He skidded to a stop beside us.
Normally, I would have heard him coming from miles away. One day, hopefully soon, Lucas would stop being the sole focus of my attention whenever he was nearby.
I forced myself to look at Callum as he dismounted. ‘Lucas wasn’t quite ready to leave the mountains yet.’
Thick eyebrows disappeared under the untidy tangle of Callum’s black hair. He squeezed Lucas’s shoulder. ‘That’s alright. You’re welcome with me and Aster for as long as you need.’
Lucas’s eyes darted between Callum’s concerned face and mine, which I made sure to keep resolutely expressionless. I wouldn’t be able to hide my hurt from him, but he didn’t need to see it all.
His mouth opened. For a second, I thought he might say no. He might step forward and pull me into his arms. He might tell me this was a terrible misunderstanding and he wanted me just as much as he’d claimed he did yesterday.
That was a fantasy. The door of the cottage slammed open, and our heads snapped to where Bonnie grinned ferally on the bristly doormat.
‘If you three don’t get your arses inside this cottage right now and enjoy the meal my husband has spent hours making, then I’m going to wedgy you.’ She stood back, creating room for us to pass by. ‘Don’t test me. You know I have superior Alpha strength. You’d be fishing bits of pantie out of your cracks for weeks.’
‘Sorry I’m late.’ Callum walked towards the cottage, a hand on Lucas’s shoulder steering him inside. ‘Albert refused to get out of the cabin but I wasn’t going to leave him in there after what he did last time.’
‘The lube incident?’ Bonnie’s grin widened.
Callum sighed. ‘The lube incident.’
