‘Aster.’ His name came out strained. I loved his inability to say anything quickly, but right now I needed him to be clear. I needed to understand.
‘Okay. The second job offer means I get to stay here. With you.’ Aster beamed at me. ‘I’ll basically be doing the same stuff I’ve been doing. Roaming around looking at plants and stuff. But Cal. I can stay. I don’t have to leave.’
Happiness definitely shone from every part of him. It made his scent soft and bright, like roses on a warm summer evening. But I couldn’t find the same emotion inside myself.
Aster had been so excited about the job at the university. This second job didn’t offer half the intellectualstimulation or career opportunities of the first. My lovesick heart wanted to grab on to Aster with both hands, but I couldn’t let him stay here just to make me happy. The second job was a consolation prize. Aster couldn’t live like that.
I twisted my hand free and took a step back. ‘You should take the job at the university.’
Aster looked less shocked when I told him I was a werewolf. His face paled, his brow furrowing. ‘I thought you would want me to stay.’
I do.My heart begged me to say it. But I wouldn’t let Aster compromise his dreams for me. ‘Why would you stay here when you can go home?’
It was underhand to suggest London was his home more than here, but if I had to make Aster feel unwelcome to help him see sense, then I’d do it. I’d do anything for him.
He bit his lip. ‘I’d stay for you.’
He wrung his hands together, always so much braver than I would ever be. In the face of such stony rejection, I couldn’t have bared myself in that way.
I tried to gentle my toneless voice. ‘This thing between us has always had an expiry date. I wouldn’t expect you to change your plans for me.’
Aster blinked furiously. ‘Bonnie sorted it all out. She obviously doesn’t think me staying is a problem.’
I shook my head. ‘Bonnie doesn’t always realise when she’s overstepping.’
Aster’s chin wobbled as he looked away. I wanted to gather him in my arms, make the pain disappear, but a little hurt now would keep him from a lifetime of resentment. That’s what awaited if he stayed here. He would enjoy being with me for a while, but then he would think of all he wasmissing, all he’d given up. I couldn’t compare to everything he’d lose if he stayed here.
‘That’s it then,’ Aster said, his voice unsteady. ‘You want me to go.’
No.It was a howl in my chest.
My heart tearing in two, I said, ‘It’s for the best.’
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
ASTER
I’d gotten it wrong. Again.
I had no idea I would wake up the morning after losing my virginity to find the girl I was obsessed with had used me to get back at her ex. I had no inkling Mark was cheating. I was blindsided when Jamie ended our casual thing.
That was all nothing to my shock as Callum continued insisting he wanted me to go back to London permanently.
I thought he would return my love. I’d read into all his lingering looks and allocated feelings to them he clearly wasn’t caught up in. I’d taken his words and twisted them to fit my agenda.
Which was falling head over heels in love with him.
But he wasn’t in love with me.
I wanted to slap myself. If anyone should have seen this coming, it was me. I had a proven track record of being a monumentally bad judge of character and situations as soon as my dick got involved. I thought Callum was different, butthe truth was I’d managed to repeat the same mistake I’d already made three times before.
Maybe it needed to be this freaking painful so I would finally learn.
Callum stood before me, his face a weird, blank mask. Before, I would have assumed that was him hiding big feelings. I wasn’t sure any more. I’d told him I would stay here, that I wanted to be with him, and he’d shut me down. He’d reminded me we’d gone into this knowing there was a clear and immovable end date.
I dashed away the tears spilling onto my cheeks. If I’d needed confirmation things between us were broken, then him standing still while I cried gave it. That hadn’t been the deal. His arms should be around me.
But they weren’t. Whatever had been going on between us was over. A bitter voice in my head insisted Callum had explored all he wanted to sexually and now he was casting me aside like everyone else did.
