Aster stared, then let out an inarticulate cry of frustration. He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead on them, his arms bracketing around his ears.
‘Why are you being so nice?’ His muffled voice found its way through. ‘Why are you always so fucking nice to me?’
‘Do you want me to back off? I can give you space.’ I tried not to let desperation leak into my voice. ‘I don’t like how things have been the last few days, Aster. I want to go back to how they were.’
Aster raised his head and looked up at the sky, his mouth pressed tight. I tried not to stare at the long line of his freckled neck. If my interest made him uncomfortable, then imagining how it would feel to press my lips to his skin wouldn’t make anything better.
‘In my defence, I thought this was what you wanted,’ Aster said.
‘I don’t want things to be strange between us.’ I tipped my head to the side when Aster bit his lip instead of replying. ‘You honestly can talk to me about anything.’
Aster made another low sound, then swung around to sit cross-legged. It was the first time in days he’d properly looked at me. I tried not to be dazzled by his sudden and unadulterated attention.
‘Okay, so you thought things have been weird the last few days, but it’s your fault if they get worse now you’re practically forcing me to tell you the truth.’
A bump in his heartbeat. He was exaggerating.
‘Things won’t get weirder. I promise.’ I turned to mirror his position on the blanket.
Another harsh laugh, but his eyes were lined with sadness. ‘Don’t make promises you can’t keep.’
I took his hand in mine, linking our thumbs as my fingers spread across the inside of his wrist. ‘Just tell me what it is, Aster.’
‘Fine. Fine, fine.’ A faint blush rose across Aster’s pale cheeks. His eyes darted to our linked hands. ‘The reason I’ve been trying to keep my distance is because I like you, okay?’
‘Oh.’ I couldn’t stop the soft exhalation.
Aster tore his hand from mine. ‘Yeah, I like you. But you don’t need to worry. I know you don’t like me back. That’s fine. More than fine. Peachy. But that’s the reason I kept away. I didn’t want you to feel weird because you had to share your space with someone harbouring romantical feelings for you. And you don’t have to feel weird. I have a handle on it. We can carry on as we were. No problem. No problem at all.’
Aster rambled himself into silence, his face bright red. I turned his words over. His heart hadn’t skipped when he said he liked me. The only time it stuttered was when he said he had a handle on his feelings.
‘I like you too.’ My smile was involuntary.
It fell when Aster dropped his face into his hands. ‘That causes a whole other problem.’
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
ASTER
Igroaned into my hands.
Callum’s words caused two vastly contradictory reactions in my startled brain. One side descended into party mode, confused as to why I hadn’t thrown myself on top of the hottest man alive and smushed my face into his impossibly gorgeous face yet. While the other side spun out of control with fear. I’d been so sure Callum didn’t like me. I hadn’t thought about what I’d do if he did.
Apparently I’d want to simultaneously engage in mountain sex while crying and demanding promises he wouldn’t ever hurt me.
So sexy. So very smooth.
‘I’m going to go.’
I emerged from the cosy cave I’d made with my hands and was greeted by Callum’s thighs. They were nice thighs, but they weren’t what I’d expected to see. In fact, I’d argue they were the nicest thighs known to humankind. Thick and muscled, they filled the tight jeans Callum must wriggle intoeach morning. A tear above his knee revealed a patch of golden-brown skin covered in sparse black hair.
Before I met Callum, I wouldn’t have said hairy knees were attractive. But he could have hairy knuckles and I’d be salivating.
I craned my neck to look up at his face. ‘Why are you standing right now?’
He’d been smiling when I’d hidden away in my impromptu cave of self-loathing. Now his face was a closed book. Which meant he was hurting. Callum didn’t hide away unless he was trying to keep the softest parts of himself safe.
‘I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Aster.’ Callum shuffled, clearly torn between talking this out and fleeing across the mountains. ‘I shouldn’t have said anything.’
