“Stop,” Westley says with a laugh. “Damon will kill you.”
I blink. “Does… Damon talk about me?”
“He gets grumpy when we mention you.” There’s humor in Vaughn’s voice. “We couldn’t figure it out at first since he seemed pretty happy abandoning us in the bar when he met you. Then we figured it’s because he’s never actually gotten over whatever happened that night.”
“Vaughn!” Westley reprimands. There are some shuffling sounds, and I think they’re wrestling over the phone. Finally, Westley says, “Ignore him. He’s… he’s happy, so he’s lost the ability to filter himself.”
“I’m happy, all right!”
A throaty laugh escapes me. I rub a hand over my face. There are words that want to escape, but I’m not sure how to let them. Would it even be appropriate? These two are my clients. Myclients.And even if they’ve just told me about their personal life, they were kind of obligated to do so on a professional level.
But then again, being appropriate has never been my forte.
“I don’t think I ever got over that night either,” I admit, too softly. In the ensuing silence, I almost think they don’t hear me over the airport’s noise.
“I knew it,” Vaughn murmurs, probably more to his boyfriend than to me.
Before they can say anything more, I speak again. The question that’s on the tip of my tongue comes out. “Aren’t you two scared?”
“Of?” they say in unison.
“Dating. Messing up. You two are the best of friends, and if this doesn’t work out, then there’s no turning it back.”
They’ll be left with lingering bitterness. I’ve seen it time and time again with Dad. I saw how he crumbled when Mom left him, and I saw the string of girlfriends he had after her. Same thing went for Mom. Relationships never made any fucking sense to me, not with how miserable they made my parents.
“I’d rather give it a shot than think of the what-ifs forever,” Vaughn says. “And I’ve been thinking of the what-ifs for a very long time.”
I purse my lips together.
These two have been in love with each other for almost half their life. They’ve been best friends for that long, too. The downfall of them breaking up would be horrible, yet… they’re not scared.
And Damon? All we have is a one-night stand, a couple of snappy interactions in the office, and days cooped up in a hotel room.
What… what am I so scared of?
If Westley and Vaughn are so ready to risk what they have, why can’t I?
Why can’t I fucking do what everyone else can do so easily?
After I hang up on them, I drag my feet back to an empty seat. Leaning back, I fold my arms across my chest and closemy eyes. It takes great effort to calm my breaths, especially with how these might just be the most stressful moments of my life. It doesn’t help that the group of people berating the airline for the delay are still going at it.
I glance at my watch.
Damon should be boarding soon. He’s going to go to Anchorage and have a great break with his family. With his two younger sisters. He’s probably going to have a boatload of banana bread and do whatever else it is that people in functioning families do. God, they’re probably going to watchLove, Actuallyagain. He seems to have the type of family who’d insist on still doing it, just for tradition and all that stupid shit.
I’ve never had that.
Ever.
Even now, maybe the reason I’m not so angry about the delay is because I know that all that’s waiting for me back in Tampa is an empty apartment.
My phone buzzes with a new message, and my heart jumps when I read it.
Dee: Boarding soon. Take care, Ellis.
What does it say about me that I wish he’d have called mesweetheartinstead?
This… thisman.How can a simple five word text shake me to the core?
