Luckily, drunk sex with Rufus never lasted very long.He often couldn’t keep it up, or he’d pass out on top of me before he finished.Then I’d have to carefully roll him off me before I suffocated or was crushed to death.
Tom, however, was the antithesis of Rufus.He held me.He cared for me.He didn’t pressure me into anything.Which made me want to finally take that carnal leap with him all the more.
Even though in my heart—and between my legs—I felt ready, there were two people in this growing relationship, and something told me he was also holding back.
With the lights out and my thoughts rampant and suggestive, I licked my fingers and slowly slid them down under the covers, past the waistband of my panties, and through the trimmed patch of curls until I found my slick, throbbing clit.
A sigh escaped my lips as I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and pictured Tom, wet from the duck pond, his white T-shirt plastered to his skin and the soft-brown of his eyes glowing in the sunlight.Then I imagined his lips on my neck, my jaw, my mouth, and down my body, across each breast, around each nipple, and further south.Until my fingers became his fingers.Until my fingers became his mouth.
Around and around, I rubbed, gathering more arousal when I needed it as the pressure in my lower belly began to build.My fingers started to cramp and my legs trembled, but I kept going, not knowing if I’d be able to take the plunge over the edge, or if I’d stop myself out of fear.
My breath grew ragged, and my clit swelled beneath my cramping fingertips as I continued to rub circles, but my rhythm faltered the closer to release I drew.
I wanted Tom.
I wanted Tom on top of me.Inside of me.Surrounding me in every way.
Maybe the first time I orgasmed should be with him?Neither of us was a virgin, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t save something special for him, right?
You’re overthinking this.What if you can’t orgasm with him because you’ve never orgasmed before?As Gabrielle has said, you can’t expect a man to please you if you can’t please yourself.
Right!
If I couldn’t please myself, how could I expect a man to do it?Especially if I didn’t know what I liked and didn’t like?With my free hand, I plucked at my left nipple over my nightshirt, and apparently,thatwas something that pleased me, because the sudden swell of pleasure that coursed through me was overwhelming.My back bowed, my head left the pillow, and my clit doubled in size as everything inside of my body turned warm and tingly.A beautiful, white light flashed behind my closed eyelids, and I squeezed them shut even tighter while wave after wave of never-experienced-bliss ricocheted through me like a rubber ball in an empty room.
A moment later, totally sated with heavy breaths, I collapsed back into my pillow.
“Holy shit,” I murmured into the darkness, still not bothering to open my eyes.“That’s what I’ve been missing?”
My thighs twitched a little, and the space between my legs throbbed in the most exquisitely pleasant way.I stayed there for several heartbeats, just relishing the aftershocks of my very first orgasm and how thoughts of Tom never left my mind.Even though it was my hand, I pretended it was his.Gentle, knowing, possessive.Even though it was my hand, I imagined his mouth was there too, kissing and licking me in all the right ways, bringing me pleasure I’d never known before.
Once I was no longer panting, I threw back the covers and went to wash my hands in the bathroom.Staring at myself in the mirror, I saw a new woman.
My cheeks were flushed and rosy, my eyes bright but a little unfocused, and my hair was a mess.But I looked … relaxed.I felt relaxed.Possibly more than I ever had in my life.
Running back to the bedroom, I grabbed my phone and texted Gabrielle.
You still awake?
She messaged back right away.
Yeah.Everything okay?
I wore pajama pants and a baggy black T-shirt, and all I bothered to do was slide into some sandals before I was out the door and climbing her porch steps again.We never bothered to knock when we entered each other’s houses, so I just went right in.
She met me in the kitchen, with concern on her face.“What happened?”
I glanced into the living room.“Where’s Mav?”
“Having a shower.What is going on?You’re freaking me out.”Her brow narrowed in concern.
Grabbing her elbow, I pulled her outside and shut the door.“I just had an orgasm.”
Those pinched brows widened and nearly flew clear off her forehead.“With Tom?”
“No.On my own.”
“Good for you.Though, I’m not sure if warrants your coming to tell me in person?”
