The poignant look in her eyes said she agreed unequivocally.A heavy silence fell between us.One I felt deep in my chest.I focused on the ground in front of me.
“I’m really sorry about your wife,” she said after several heartbeats.“I can’t imagine what that must have been like.”
I swallowed and nodded gently.“Grazie.It was a long time ago, but … I feel close to her when I am here.Where she grew up.Fulfilling her dream.”
She took a sip of the barley coffee, then offered the cup to me since I’d only packed the thermos with the lid for a cup.I accepted it, nodding before bringing the steaming brew to my lips and taking a generous sip.
“It’s not just the barley coffee in there, is it?”
I swallowed.“No.I add a spot of milk and some honey.I take my regular coffee black though.”
“I’m a vanilla soy girl.”Her cheeks grew a little pink.“I wasn’t allowed to drink coffee before I escaped.Only warm water with lemon was allowed by my husband.He said women drinking caffeine was a sin.So when I finally got out, I wanted something decadent in my first ever coffee, and someone offered me vanilla soy, and it was one of the most delicious things I’d ever tasted.I never turned back.”
“Life is too short not to take our coffee the way we like it.If you want to drink it standing on your head, then do that.If it makes you happy.”
Her giggle sent a very pleasant warmth through me, and I itched to move closer to her.Midnight’s head flopped away, his eyes closed with a small trickle of milk escaping his mouth.
“He is drunk.”I shook my head.“What do you say in English?Lightweight?”
She giggled again.“Yes.That’s what we say.He’s a total lightweight when it comes to milk.We should move him with his mama.”
It was easier for me to scoop up the little foal and settle him beside his mother than it was for Danica.So I carefully gathered Midnight into my arms, the backs of my hands grazing the tops of her thighs as I did.
Angel was asleep again, but roused enough to lick her son affectionately.
I sat back against the wall and tilted my chin toward the rafters, closing my eyes.Maybe Angel would rally and find the strength she needed to be there for her son, but I knew better than to have false hope, especially when it came to ill mothers.Angel was doing everything she could to stay alive for her son, but even with that, she very well might not.A mother’s love was unmatched and held no bounds, but their life was just as fragile as the rest of ours.
Danica mimicked my movements and, sighing, leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes.
I drifted to sleep as soon as my eyes closed.I didn’t know how long I’d slept for before I woke.Uncomfortable and achy from the horrible position, I groaned as the rustling sound of straw and hooves on concrete pulled me from a dream I immediately couldn’t remember.Danica’s head was on my shoulder, and while I didn’t want to wake her, I also needed to see what was going on.I gently pried myself out from under her head and leaned forward.When I first heard the sounds but hadn’t opened my eyes, I thought maybe Angel was trying to get up, but after a quick second of collecting my surroundings, I realized it was Midnight.He was up on his feet and nudging his mother with his nose.
A yawn and movement beside me alerted me to Danica being awake.“What time is it?”she asked, glancing at her watch.“Oh, it’s two in the morning.We must have fallen asleep.Is he hungry again?”
I wasn’t sure.Was the foal nudging his mother because he wanted to nurse, or just because he wanted her attention?
On my knees, I inched toward Angel, leaning down to press my face to her nose to feel her breath.
There was none.
Closing my eyes for a moment, I pressed my forehead to hers and said a soft prayer—even though I wasn’t a religious man—to San Francesco d’Assisi, the patron saint of animals, asking him to protect this mother in the afterlife, and protect her son here on earth.
“She’s gone?”Danica asked, though it wasn’t really a question.
I nodded, lifting my head only to have a wide awake and ready to play colt chewing on my shirtsleeve.“She has left us.”
Midnight was relentless now, demanding attention, and possibly food too.
“I’ll go warm up another bottle,” she said with sleep and grief in her voice as she used the stall wall to help herself to her feet.
My head bobbed, and I turned to the young horse to give him all my attention.“Sei un monello tenero, ma adesso ci sono io per te.” I said to him, petting him but not for long, since he jumped out of the way.“You’re a little rascal, but now I’m here for you.”He continued to nudge and headbutt his mother, not understanding why she wasn’t reacting.
Tears welled up in my eyes, and emotion grew thick and heavy in my throat.Just like I had to with my own son, I needed to figure out a way to be both mother and father to this little boy.To help him with his grief while battling my own.
He approached me again, this time stepping close enough to nudge my shoulder with his head.I gently stroked between his ears.I’d pay whatever I had to for goats’ milk for him, but what he really needed was a mother.His mother.But since she was no longer with us, a nurse mare would have to do.
Hopefully, my contact on the mainland would come through.
Otherwise, I had no idea how little Midnight was going to cope.
