I’m not to blame for Jack’s death. Yes, I missed the device. But I didn’t detonate it. I didn’t kill him. And I don’t have to punish myself for the rest of my life. If I have any residual guilt,Archer’s right—helping others is one way to make myself feel better. I’m also going to visit Jack’s parents and apologize for not going to the funeral. I think that will help me put the event behind me.
I thought this day would be the lowest of my life, as if I’d reached the bottom of the pit. But for some reason, I feel that, for the first time, I’ve finally climbed out.
I look back at Noah. Archer’s finished signing, and now he’s looking at me expectantly too.
“Okay,” I say. “Let’s talk about how this is going to work.”
Chapter Fifteen
Isla
My shift ends at one today. Hal and Clio are already in, taking over from Summer and Stefan, and the nurses have also arrived, so it’s time to head home.
I take off my tunic and head out to fetch Max. He’s been so good, doing his jigsaw and talking to the people who’ve brought their animals to the clinic, but he’s all packed up and more than ready to head out.
I feel a little guilty about refusing to let him go with Cullen this morning as they both seem to enjoy the arrangement, but deep down I know it’s for the best. I probably need to distance myself a bit from him. Poor Max has been through a lot and it’s not over yet, with the divorce and a possible move on the cards.
It’s been spattering with rain for a while, so I make Max put on his jacket and pull up his hood, while I pop up an umbrella. Taking his hand, I walk out into the Quad.
Cullen’s there, waiting, also with an umbrella. I should have sent him a message that I was working longer so we could walk home alone, but I forgot. My heart leaps at the sight of him, though, and the peculiar mix of emotions makes me tearful again.
“Hey, sweetheart.” He frowns with concern. “How are you doing? You look tired.”
“Yeah, it’s been a busy morning.” My hand tightens on Max, and for once he doesn’t run up to Cullen, but stays by my side.
Cullen hesitates and slides his hands into the pockets of his shorts. “Do you want to walk home on your own? I can stay and do a bit more work.”
I bite my bottom lip. It would sound rude to say yes. And besides, I do want to be with him. I want his arms around me. His lips on mine. I just know that I shouldn’t, and that makes it so hard.
“No, of course.” I force a smile. “Don’t mind me.” He falls in beside me, and we start walking down the long drive. “How are you doing?” I ask. “Getting through the day?”
“Yeah. I’m okay. Better than I thought I’d be.”
Relief spreads through me. “I’m so glad. I was worried about you.”
His eyes meet mine, and the warmth in them makes me feel as if everything is going to be okay.
We walk quietly for a bit, the rain pattering on our umbrellas and Max’s hood. The dark clouds are parting, and the sun is peeping through, even though it’s still raining. As we crest the hill and head down, we all exclaim at the sight of a rainbow arcing over Sunrise Bay, its colors vivid against the gray sky behind it.
My throat tightens. When Jack and I were young and our beloved family dog died, my parents said she had ‘crossed the rainbow bridge,’ and she would be there on the other side waiting for us. Jack’s crossed the bridge himself, now. Will I meet him again one day?
“Perfect,” Cullen says.
I look at him, not sure what he means, but he’s looking at the farmhouse below us and to our right. He glances at me, then pulls his hand out of his pocket to reveal a bunch of keys. He jangles them at Max. “Do you want to look around where PAWS is going to be?”
His face lights up. “Oh, yes please!”
I frown, wishing he’d asked me first, as it’s yet another thing that will make Max reluctant to go if we have to stay inAuckland, but it’s too late to say anything, as Cullen goes up to the gate and unlocks the padlock, then opens it to let us in.
“It’s old,” Max says, disappointed, as we walk up the long drive to the house.
“Nobody’s lived in it for a while,” Cullen replies. “But we’re going to mend it and paint it, and it’ll look like new when it’s done. It’ll have a sign out here,” he stops and gestures, “and we will probably make this side into a small car park.”
We? The pronoun puzzles me. But maybe he just means everyone in general.
He goes up to the front door and unlocks it, and we go inside.
We walk slowly around, with Cullen pointing things out to Max, showing him how the new center is going to be laid out. Max asks what a therapy center is, and Cullen explains about animal-assisted therapy, while Ghost sniffs around, exploring all the corners.
