He falls into step beside me, and we begin walking down the drive, Max in front with Ghost as usual.
It’s a lovely evening, warm and still. The moreporks are hooting in the trees, and in the distance comes the high cry of a kiwi, out looking for a mate.
“Did you enjoy the party?” Cullen asks.
“I had a great time, and so did Max.”
“I’m glad.”
We walk a little way quietly. Then I say, “I had a chat with Nix.”
“Oh?”
“She wanted to ask if I needed any help with lawyers or anything.”
He glances at me, letting me tell him more if I want to.
“She said something that really made me think. She said I have a duty to protect Max from injury.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“It was like a revelation. I hadn’t thought about it that way. It was as if she gave me permission to walk away from my marriage. Does that make sense?”
He nods. “I had something similar, when Archer said that if I stayed, I’d be able to help a lot of people who are in need here. I’d told myself I didn’t deserve to stay, but it gave me food for thought.”
“Yeah, sometimes it just makes you think about things from a different angle, doesn’t it?”
“Definitely. So have you been thinking about what you want to do going forward?”
“Yes. She’s going to make me an appointment with a lawyer for next week. What I thought was interesting was that she asked me what I wanted to do. And for a minute I couldn’t answer her. I realized I hadn’t considered what I want at all.”
“I would think that’s quite common with women, especially when you become mothers. You always tend to put your children first.”
“Maybe.” I give him a quick smile, tucking my hair behind my ear. I love that he understands that, even though he doesn’t have any kids.
“So… has it made you think about what you want?” he asks.
“Yes. And I’m thinking about staying in Sunrise Bay. I love it here, and I thought maybe I’ll get a little flat or something, and Max can go to school in the village. Perhaps I’d be able to get at least a part-time job at the Ark. It’s all up in the air at the moment. What about you? Have you been giving it any more thought?”
“Oh yeah, it’s hard to think about anything else. I keep going around in circles, though. There are lots of reasons to stay. But it’s hard to overcome the little voice in your head that says you don’t deserve it.”
“I do get that. People don’t understand the pressure that guilt puts on you, and how it skews everything.”
“Exactly.”
We walk past the Hemsworth place, and exchange a smile.
“Archer’s put an offer in,” he says.
“He doesn’t hang around!”
“No. He said it’s Sod’s Law that it’s been sitting empty for a year and then someone will snap it up. I think it’ll go through pretty quickly.”
“That’s so cool. If I stay, it’ll be great to watch it all coming together.”
“Yeah.”
We walk a little further.
