I can barely breathe. I feel a little dizzy from thinking about connotations and Where This Is Going. But in the end, I just give a little shake of my head.
“Good,” he says, a tad smugly, and he goes inside to pay.
Feeling flustered, I wander down to Max, and we’re ordering our ice creams when Cullen joins us. We’ve asked for cornets this time. He orders for Mint Choc Chip, and this time I say firmly that I’m paying. He just gives me an amused look and doesn’t argue.
We cross to the beach, and I slip off my sandals, letting them dangle from my fingers while I eat the cornet. We walk down to the water’s edge, where the waves, warmed by the sun, wash over my feet. Max throws sticks into the sea for Ghost, who swims out to retrieve them.
“Are you okay?” Cullen asks. “You’re quiet.”
I’ve put my hat and sunglasses back on. “I have a bit of a headache,” I admit.
“Aw.”
“Too much thinking.” My lips twist.
“It doesn’t always help to think too much.”
I chuckle. “No, that’s true.”
“Sometimes you just have to… er… for… um…”
I look up. He’s watching me, and he’s clearly lost his train of thought, distracted, apparently, by me catching the drips of the cherry ice cream on my tongue.
Our gazes meet. He blinks. “Sorry, my brain just melted.”
I giggle, and his lips curve up.
“Naughty boy,” I say softly.
He gives me a helpless look. “Sorry. It’s been a looong time.” He says it with feeling.
“How long?”
He shrugs. “Eighteen months? Maybe more.”
“It’s a long time to go without sex and affection. We’re both touch starved.”
He studies his ice cream before taking a bite out of it. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
“Maybe…” My face warms, but I ignore it. “…we should forget about everything else and just concentrate on the fact that we’re two human beings who like each other, and who need a little love. I mean,” I add hastily, “notlovelove, but, you know, affection, and—”
“Yeah,” he says, eating the last bite of his ice cream. “I think you’re right.”
“I mean, there’s no point in worrying about what might happen or where we’re going, right? It’s summer, and it’s beautiful, and we like each other. That’s all that matters, isn’t it?” My gaze slides to Max as he splashes in the water, and I feel a wash of despair. I swallow the last of the ice cream, trying to ignore the lump in my throat. “I want that to be true, but I have to think of Max. I can’t just go off with any guy who takes my fancy. If I’m going to be a single mum, I can’t parade asuccession of men through his life. I have to be responsible. Oh God, I’m so tired of being responsible.”
“I understand,” he says.
My chest heaves. “I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to come on all deep and meaningful…”
“It’s okay. Of course you have to put Max first. I wouldn’t assume anything else.”
“I’m not saying—”
“Isla.” He stops walking, catches my hand with his, and turns me to face him. “It’s okay. You’ve been through so much. I’m not asking anything of you. Neither of us is ready to make any decisions right now.” He looks out to sea briefly, and then his gaze comes back to me, resolute and firm. “Brock said to give myself time to think about what I’m doing, and he’s right. I’m going to stay for Christmas, probably until the New Year.” He lifts a hand and cups my face. “That gives us a week or two to see whether there’s anything here that we want to pursue.” He smiles. “How does that sound?”
I nod, swallowing hard. “It sounds good,” I say huskily.
He brushes my cheek with his thumb. “Okay.” He looks at my mouth, and for a moment I think he’s going to kiss me.
