“Well, la dee da,” my father said, lit cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth.“Look who the fuckin' cat drug in.”I could smell his unwashed hair from here.That familiar blue and white ball cap looked even grungier than the last time I saw it.
“What?Who?”my sister's voice floated through the front door.A voice that sounded exactly like mine.I couldn't remember how long it had been since we’d seen each other.Probably over a year.
What I did remember though, was her late-night phone call from jail after getting yet another DUI.Saving her, again—had completely wiped out the safety net from my bank account.It had taken me six months and two shitty jobs to build up what I had in there.Only to be completely drained because of my sister.
Again.
Footsteps shuffled somewhere behind my father.And then I saw my sister's face poking over my dad's shoulder.“Franny!Oh, my God!”she exclaimed, ducking underneath my dad's arm to hug me.Felicia smelled like stale cigarettes and vodka.“How ya doing, Sis?I missed you.”She hugged me tight.“Where've you been?”She pushed away from me and smiled.Having a twin was sometimes fun.Sometimes not fun.
And sometimes just plain weird.
Like right now, for instance.Looking into my sister’s face was a lot like looking into a mirror.If that mirror walked and talked.
“Oh, you know, here and there,” I said, not wanting to get into too much detail.I drove around most of the night, deciding what to do.And hoping like heck Giselle and the rest of Stefan’s family had found my old apartment.
And found Stefan.
Over and over in my mind, I replayed what I thought might have happened once Stefan first realized I was gone.And then what he’d do after reading my letter and knowing that I was gone for good.
I mean, yes, this was for the best.By far.Sure, he said that he loved me.But I knew that was impossible.Stefan had just created some kind of delusion inside of his mind about me.Because I had saved his life.That was the only real thing he was right about.Everyone else had given up on him.And if I hadn't been there that day in the ER, the medical staff would have left him for dead.
During my long drive last night—where my crappy brown car only died three times—I also played out this scenario where I stayed with Stefan.And went to his place today.
It would be wonderful.Stylish.Expensive.
Everything that I wasn't.
I had no doubt that Stefan would surround himself with only the best of the best.
It might be fun at first to play in his world.Dressing up, having my hair done by the most talented stylists.Going out to extravagant restaurants and eating foods I could barely spell and only read about in books.Then taking up Stefan's offer and going to a white sandy beach somewhere.And wearing nothing but bikinis for a month.Letting him finally take my virginity.
All of those things ran through my head.
But in the end, I knew what would happen.
Guys—men like Stefan didn't stay with women like me.
Women from the wrong side of the tracks.
Barely educated, unclassy, white trash.
No.
Stefan would end up with someone like Giselle.
Or Eve.
A gorgeous woman who he wouldn't be embarrassed to have on his arm.
So really, I was doing him a favor by leaving.Ripping off the bandage now would save a lot of heartache six months down the line.Or a year.Or two.
Or however long he kept me around.
In my heart I knew all of this.But that didn't explain why my insides felt so shattered.And why I'd spent hours crying last night.
“Well, I'm glad you're here now.Dad's got himself into a bit of a pickle,” Felicia said with a sigh.“Again.”She didn't have to tell me that.I'd assumed as much from the texts he'd sent last night.I'd spent the better part of my life helping him out of one kind of trouble or another.
“Shut up, Fee.I wouldn't have had to call your sister if you were any help at all,” my dad chastised Felicia.
