“No, no dead bodies everywhere,” I said. “This is for the publicity, for the fame. No blood will be spilled.”
“If you don’t think advertising kills, Delaney, dear, you obviously haven’t played the game.”
“Knock, knock!” Myra’s voice called out from the back door. “Delaney, are you here?”
“In the guest room.”
“Bedoffistudiocation room,” Xtelle shouted.
I shook my head. “That’s never going to catch on.”
“What, like umbrella hats? Oh, yes, don’t look so surprised. I heard about that little bet you lost to Crow. Tricksters are a lot like leprechauns. Things tend to go their way in the end too.”
“Hey,” Myra said, taking in the scene a lot quicker than I had. “So you found our plant murderers?”
“Yes. They’ve admitted to it and are going to pay a fine. What’s up?”
“You need to come in and handle some paperwork on those people who attacked you.”
“Attack?” Xtelle asked. “Was it because of your choice in trousers? It was because of your choice in trousers.”
“My trousers are fine. Some people made a deal with some demons, and tried to kill me.” I said it like this sort of thing happened every day. It didn’t. But other weird stuff did happen every day around here. I was sort of immune to the stress of being attacked by regular people, demon contract or no demon contract.
“Which demons?” Xtelle asked. She was suddenly very serious, even if she still appeared to be a small pony standing among drooping stolen shrubbery in a bedoffistudiocation room.
“My guess? Your ex.”
“Why would he want you killed? I mean…your trouser choices, maybe.”
“I haven’t had the chance to ask him, and the people he sent aren’t talking. I suppose it has something to do with Ordinary being the kind of place that will stand between him and the mortal world if he decides to wage war.
“Or, it could be you divorcing him, Avnas abandoning him, and Bathin hiding from him for years. Oh, and maybe his other son, Goap, wanting to kill him and take the throne.”
“Still,” she said. “You?”
“I might have just been the easy target. Since I allow people in and out of Ordinary, it might have just been his way of making it easier to get to someone else.”
From the very shrewd look on her face, she knew exactly who the king of hell was most angry with—the demons hiding out in town: Bathin, Avnas, and of course, her.
“So if you have any information on any of that, I’d love to hear it,” I said.
“If I do, I’ll tell you. They were human, though? Just human?”
“Yes. Contracted to demons, but just human.”
“Very well. Do go away, Delaney. I have to finish decorating my bedoffistudiocation room so that I may take the social media by storm!”
“That’s what this is for?” Myra asked. “You know you can’t be a pony posting online,” she said.
“Of course I can be a pony. I’ll create a fake person who ‘owns’ me and likes to take beautiful pictures of me being beautiful.”
“And you’re doing this because?” I asked.
“Apparently I need to earn money to pay the fines imposed upon me for temporarily borrowing common shrubbery. Go away. All of you.” She waved her nose toward the door, then she and Avnas shoved at the bushes, moving them around.
Myra looked and me and raised her eyebrows. “Okay, so this is a thing now?”
“Apparently. Don’t forget about the fines, either of you. And if you take anything from private property again, it won’t just be a fine you’ll be paying. Do you understand?”
