“This is about a favor I need from you,” she snapped.
Okay. Boring was a touchy subject. “I can’t.”
“You haven’t heard what I want.”
“But I know it’s a talent show. I can’t. I won’t.”
“Being crowned this year’s Ordinary Show Off is a great honor.”
“Didn’t Phil Lambert win the last two years?”
“He was a crowd favorite. Of course he won.”
“He played the “Ride of the Valkyries” with armpit farts.”
I could hear her inhale through her nose, as if she were trying very hard not to shout at me.
“The year before that it was armpit-fart “The Blue Danube” wasn’t it?”
“No,” she said through her teeth. “It was Vivaldi.”
What could I say? Ordinary liked weird stuff. Like big sweaty bald guys armpit farting the classics.
“Three wins in a row would be very unlikely,” Bertie said. “Unless you are suggesting our current Ordinary Show Off hasn’t earned his crown?”
“No. No. Phil’s great. I just can’t.”
“Can’t what? I haven’t asked for my favor yet.”
Bertie was right. The events she put on were important. They kept us together, created our traditions. They let the outgoing among us thrive and tempted the hermits to join in.
It was good. The talent show was cheesy as all heck, but it wasgood.
However, the idea of me standing on that stage doinganythingin front of all those people had me sweating hard.
“Delaney?”
“I can’t be an Ordinary Show Off.”
Bertie’s sigh was long-suffering. “I wouldn’t ask you to. You don’t have any talent. Not a single dramatic bone in your body.”
“Hey, I can do stuff.”
Myra snorted and clicked away at her keyboard. I threw another pencil at her. She didn’t even move.
“You want to perform in front of the entire town?” Bertie asked, scenting blood on the battlefield.
“No.”
“Then what makes you think I would force you to do something you abhor?”
“What about the rhubarb, Bertie? Do you remember the rhubarb? Because I still have nightmares about the rhubarb.”
“I stand corrected,” she said dryly. “You do have a dramatic bone in your body.”
“Myra can ride a unicycle,” I said sweetly.
Myra stopped typing. Her head swiveled slowly toward me, her eyes hard.
