But because he was a god, I was betting he didn’t expect anyone to actually spy on him. Most deities thought themselves above such petty skullduggery, or didn’t care if it happened. We were all beneath their notice.
“You don’t know Delaney.” Ryder’s voice was the roll of the ocean, strong, low. I pressed my palm against the building to keep from going to him, standing behind him. I’d had a lot of practice staring down gods. I wanted him to know I had his back.
“I know her better than you want to admit,” Mithra said dismissively. “I’ve been thinking a lot about her lately.”
“The contract,” Ryder said. “I’m here for our contract. If you refuse to talk about breaking it, then I’m leaving.”
“You want to break the contract,” Mithra said, bored, like a predator playing with its food before swallowing it whole. “I want you to marry Delaney.”
My heart stopped. The world zinged oddly as if every atom in the air had been hit with jumper cables, everything in that moment, a buzzing darkness with pinpoints of light.
“You want me to marry Delaney.”
“Yes. You assume I have nefarious plans for taking over Ordinary—”
“—which you do,” Ryder said.
“—but no matter my ultimate intentions, I also want what is best for you, Ryder Bailey. My loyal follower. Therefore, I want you to marry Delaney Reed.”
This buzzing wasn’t much better, but I could see again, could breathe. I scanned the grassy area behind the store, stared at the sky where clouds scuffed the stars. I rubbed my fingers on the building. It was solid and hard and real.
This was real. This was really happening. He had really said that.
And then Ryder spoke. “No.”
Mithra chuckled, and it was not kind. “I rule you. I own you. You will do as I command. And would it be such a hardship? You’ve been thinking about it for months.”
“Fuck off.” Ryder’s voice was no longer the ocean. It was lightning. It was fire burning through steel. He was angry. Furious. “You don’t know my mind. You push me around like a puppet, shove my head under water until I’m gasping for air. I want our contract ended. My mind, my life is my own.”
“Do you think so?” Mithra baited. “Then why haven’t you proposed to Delaney? Why haven’t you married her? You’ve had all this time. Why won’t you ask her?”
“As long as I am under your command, I will never marry Delaney. Never.”
Those words hammered, striking the steel around my heart, sparking embers before cracking through to pierce.
Never. He would never marry me. Never.
I knew truth when I heard it, had known him long enough to hear a lie in his voice. This wasn’t something he was saying for Mithra’s benefit. He didn’t want to be married.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I reminded myself that we had a pretty good thing going even without wedding rings. I wasn’t the kind of person who needed to be married to know I was loved. But it was the way he said it.
It was thatnever. The anger in it, the hatred.
I was cold, suddenly freezing. I shivered and sucked down air, my breathing gone choppy and shallow.
Okay. Okay. So now I knew why he’d been gone so much. Mithra was running him ragged. Mithra was controlling him.
I didn’t know why he hadn’t just told me, but I didn’t have the mental capacity at the moment to work that out.
The only thought stabbing through the buzz in my ears was home. I needed to get home, needed to drive away, needed to be gone before Ryder found out I’d been spying on him.
I moved quickly, trying not to kick the gravel, got into the Jeep. Spud’s tail was going strong, and just seeing his goofy, happy face set the center of me back in place again.
The steel around my heart might be broken, but it was still there. I inhaled, exhaled. Settled my fingers on the steering wheel. Worse had happened to me in my life. I could deal with this.
“Okay,” I said. “Okay. I got this. Okay. Just…we should go. Wanna go home, Spud? Let’s go home.”
Spud positioned himself so he could look out the window, and I started the Jeep.
