“I am a taxpayer, you know. I pay your wages. Theirs too.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“And I pay your…” she pointed a finger at Death, then curled it back in on her palm. “No, you’re a volunteer, that’s right.”
We let ourselves out, and I dialed Crow’s number.
“Busy,” he answered, and hung up.
I dialed him back.
“You hang up on me, I’ll break your kneecaps.”
“Myra? Is that you? What can I do for you, my darling?”
“Return the penguin.”
“Penguin?”
“Crow.”
“I…can’t. Really. Not yet.”
“Where are you? What are you doing with it?”
“What does anyone do with a concrete penguin in this town? No, don’t answer that. I haven’t been home in a bit and I’m afraid things may have veered into the X-rated zone since I’ve been gone. No kink shame, if that’s your thing.”
“Hand me the phone, Myra Reed,” Than said.
I narrowed my eyes, but since I wasn’t making any progress with Crow, I handed him the phone.
“Your excuses are no longer sufficient to ensure your further existence, Raven.” He paused to listen to Crow’s reply.
“I am an officer of Ordinary’s law now.” Than pulled the phone away from his face and lifted both eyebrows. He inhaled, exhaled, then placed the phone to his ear again. “I will uphold the law for mortals, supernaturals, and, more significantly perhaps in this regard, for deities. Bring the statue back to its proper placement within the hour, or I shall thoroughly enjoy interpreting Ordinary’s laws as I see fit.”
He swiped one thumb over the screen and handed it back to me.
“You…uh…I’m not sure that was exactly by the book.”
“I clearly stated my rank, my intent, and my preferred outcome. As the book instructs. Also, itisCrow.”
The look on his face, so long suffering, made me laugh. “Okay, fine. You know you can’t kill him while you’re here?”
“Yes. But then…accidents do happen.”
That got me laughing again.
~~~
Call number three:
“I don’t see the problem.” I tipped my head to one side and back again. The restroom off of 24thwas a nice, new, single building at the end of a small parking lot, which was at the end of a residential street.
The town had put in parking spaces, a restroom, a drinking fountain, and a picnic table, because 24thended on an easily accessed rise above the beach. A new, steep, concrete staircase led down to the sand. A lot of tourists used it. So did the locals in the neighborhood.
“The yarn, perhaps?” Than suggested.
“Yeah, I see that.”
