Delaney and I waited. I bit my lip to keep from laughing in his face. One tiny giggle got away fromme.
She elbowed me, and I coughed to try to cover itup.
Deathsighed.
That did it. I laughed. “It’s a gnome,” I said. “All the gnomes in Ordinary come to life inOctober.”
This,” Death jiggled the head, and Abner gave a little yodel, “is not alive, nor is it dead. It is a zombie. I am here on business. To killit...”
“Gnoooo!” Abnersqualled.
“...but it has already infected others,” Deathfinished.
“What?” Delaney asked. “How?”
We all stared at thehead.
“It’s gnot what you’re thinking,” Abner insisted. “I was just an innocent head. Out for a midnight roll. And who did I find myself clunking into but my buddy Johan? And then, well, one thing led to anotherand...”
“And?” I demanded after he’d been quiet for toolong.
“I bithim.”
“What?” Delaneysaid.
“Just agnibble.”
“You ate your buddy?” Iasked.
“He just...smelled so good. His foot was right there. Right there in front of my face. Then his foot was in my mouth, and it was candy. Sweet rockcandy.”
Delaney groaned. “Zombie gnomes? Of course we have zombie gnomes. How do we deal withthem?”
“There are options,” Deathsaid.
“I’ve been out checking on the gnomes every night,” I said. “Making sure they’re all where they belong. They seem the same tome.”
“They arenot.”
Was he lying? He had done it before, as it was the only way to take down an asshole vampire that nearly killed my sister. So while I’m generally against lying, I was fine with his duplicity in that onecase.
But why would he lie about this? Aboutgnomes?
“How did Abner go zombie in the first place? Another curse?” Delaneyasked.
“A beheading, a burying, a bite.” Death listed it off like a boring oatmeal recipe everyone knew how to make. “But unless the power that originally created this falselife—”
“—false!” Abnersquawked.
“—is found, they will rise on Halloween night undead. Permanently undead. Zombies for all time, day and night, shambling through these streets for as long as the earth circles thesun.”
Which meant we’d be on gnome duty for life. “Thatsounds—”
“Gneat!” Abnercheered.
“I was going to go with annoying,” I said. Pulling gnome duty for a month of nights was bad enough. If we didn’t stop this zombie threat in its tracks, we’d be chasing down these little buggersforever.
So. Not. Happening on mywatch.
